Page 103 - engage workbook

13 Zeno of Citium, born nearly 2,500 years ago knew a thing or two.

He is credited with saying:
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“We have two ears and one mouth,
so we should listen more than we speak.”

Consider the advantages of being seen as a good listener: toolbox
• You will understand better.
• People will tell you more – everyone likes to be listened to.
• They will “like” you – and liking is a strong determinant of who we buy from and who
we choose to work with.
• You will respond better, since you have understood better.
• You will make fewer mistakes.
• You will be respected – people tend to respect people who listen much more than
people who talk.

Real listening is demanding - it demands self-awareness, patience, empathy and practice.
It also requires acute awareness of the biases (see section 6) that prevent us listening
effectively, notably:

• Confirmation bias – where we think this is a situation we’ve encountered before so
we stop listening.
• Liking bias – where we attach undue weight to the words of those we like and less to
those we do not like.

• Groupthink – where we pay attention to the thoughts of the group and exclude lone
opposing views.

Take the LISTEN assessment at engage-universe.com to check your own listening
behaviors and get personalized feedback on how to address any gaps.

toolbox

Learn (the fuller, bigger picture)

Often we focus on gathering the facts of a situation, but we do not
listen closely enough for feelings (see also section 16 - Octagon™
Behavioral Questionnaire). Learn is about listening more broadly
and more deeply; adopting a learning mindset in order to understand
the fuller, bigger picture.
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Stopping talking is a good way to
start listening.
• Recognize your own biases and try to leave them to one side. Listen with an open
mind. Defer judgement.

• Ask a broad range of questions to get the full picture, see section 8 - SHAPE Questioning.
• Be ready to go beyond asking only about the immediate situation. Consider the
person as well as the facts. Think Octagon™. What does their conversation tell
me about their likely Octagon™ preferences?

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