Page 105 - engage workbook

13 listen

Encourage (show interest and enthusiasm)

• Show you understand where the content is leading through summarizing,
and using their words and appropriate follow-up questions to deepen
your understanding.
• Nod at appropriate times (and note how nodding is both positive and infectious).
• Smile and communicate through facial expressions, as well as by the manner and
tone of your voice.
• Paraphrase to show respect and understanding. Use your own words – do not just
repeat verbatim, like a human voice recorder.
• Share relevant experience and examples.

Next (words and deeds)

• Consider what to say next. Respond rather than react.
• Do not confuse listening with waiting for your turn to speak.
• Use open ended requests e.g. “tell me a bit more about that”.
• Look for opportunities to move the conversation forward if it becomes stuck on one topic.
• If action is involved, look for a shared commitment to move forward.

Remember that you do not have to make your point(s) in every conversation. You do
however want to maintain, or improve the relationship in every conversation. Being seen
as a good listener is an excellent way to improve relationships.

Activity

Instructions

In pairs.
Person A, the talker, describes what they want from a holiday, but without mentioning a
destination.

Person B, the listener listens attentively and demonstrates that they are listening through
their behavior.

After 3-4 minutes the listener summarizes the three or four main criteria that they have
heard the talker express, and then makes a tentative suggestion of a suitable destination.

Then spend one minute to review how close the listener's understanding matched what
the talker said and needed.
Finally spend one minute reviewing how well the listener demonstrated LISTEN behaviors.

Swap roles and repeat the activity.

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