Page 104 - engage workbook

Identify (key themes / points / messages / biases)

This is about focus. Typically many points are discussed in a
conversation. From those many points we need to be able to identify
the most important points - for the speaker.
• Look for the key points among the many things that may be said to you.
• Ask yourself questions about points raised, to help understand their significance.
• If appropriate, note down key words or points, but only as single words or bullets so
as not to interrupt the flow of conversation.
• Listen to the words, and note the emotions and body language that attach to the words.

Self (pursuing our own interests and agenda)

Normally, we enter business conversations after giving some thought to
what we want to achieve. Too strong a focus on achieving our own goals
communicates as selfishness and can lead others to disengage and stop
sharing their thoughts.
• Be aware of your natural tendency to pursue your own interests and work to manage
the impact of this on your ability to listen.
• Look at the world from the speaker's perspective and ask yourself about their goals.
• Be prepared to suspend your agenda and follow the speaker's line of thinking.
• Monitor how much "air-time" you take versus the speaker. Most of us underestimate
how much time we spend speaking.
• Be aware of your cognitive biases (see section 6 - Bias) and consciously seek to
minimize their impact.

Time (be generous)

• Suspend external interruptions – people and devices.
• Be patient. Give the gift of time. Some people need more time to
form their ideas and voice them.
• Pay attention and look alert.
• Do not interrupt. Allow the other person to finish their point before responding. If you
must interrupt, apologize and explain why.

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