Page 27 - 2022-2023 Creative Writing

Main Character

If your life were a movie, would it be interesting? I was scrolling on a Tik Tok when this question popped up. At that
moment, reality slapped me in the face. My answer was “no.”

My daily life was simply a meaningless cycle: from home to school, from school to home. Nothing much in between,
just my obsession with my phone. Sometimes I would feel like I’m not living, merely existing. Is there any reason to

live? Why am I alive? These questions devoured me from inside, little by little; every cell in my body drowned in
darkness. I hated it. I was disgusted with myself for not doing anything about it. My mental health was going down at

full speed, my physical health just went along. My sleep schedule was so messed up because I loved those night hours-

they were freedom to me. The unsettling gaze of strangers; accusing my every move, making me feel like a trapped little
bird, feeding on my fear that I made unconsciously, would only shut up when night falls. Allowing my mind to ease

from its threatening grip. I could do anything in that time, and no one would care. No one would judge.

One night, doubts beyond description, feelings that I couldn't be free, never-ending thoughts stormed in my head,

crashing into everything that is in the way. I couldn’t breathe properly; something was stuck in my chest, burning me
from the inside. I wanted to scream for mercy, but I couldn’t, as if barbed wire was choking my neck. I started to

scratch my hand, hoping something would happen. It did, indeed. I relentlessly clawed my hand, until I could feel the

warmth of wet blood at my fingertips. The pain on the outside was not much, but it somehow released the agony on the
inside. I was relieved; at the deadline I found my way to loosen the grip that had been choking me.

A month flew by, still on that pointless cycle, except I had a “pain releaser.” One random day, the question that
made me take control of my own life appeared. If my life were a movie no one would watch it. How can a movie be

interesting if the main character is just sitting there, losing her mind to social media? I wanted to be the main character
and build a life that is worth watching.

Another month flew by. That time I had my own goals, and I went for it. It has been a long journey. I’m still on it.
It will end only when I die. Looking at the past, I’m proud of myself. I did an excellent job having control, forgiving,

and understanding myself; I broke those chains that had been holding me to destructive addictions even though it was
a formidable challenge.

You only live once. Live like a main character.

9A Avidirmaa

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