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return to S. the control of his body and
mind that ISIS had taken from him. At
the same time, his mother was taught
not to respond to her son’s violence with
more of the same. Most tribal families
in Iraq hit their children to discipline
them, Adil explained. Both the mother
and the child learned how to express
their emotions without physically hurt-
ing each other.
Now her almost teenage son still gets
angry but doesn’t hit her, the mother
said. She compliments him on keeping
his control. He in turn compliments her
for the verbal praise.
The work is not done. S. still holds
BEYOND WORDS
Sairan Khalaf speaks Kurdish; her
daughter, 11, knows only Arabic
after three years of captivity
some of the values ISIS taught him,
telling his therapist, “Men and boys
we are one lot. Women and girls are
worthless.” But a year after his return
from ISIS, he helps around the house
and tells his mother that he’s glad he
came back, because he’s the only man
the family has left. □
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