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love she is giving you. Invest in your career, your friends, your health, your support system, your spirituality. If you have a request around Jenni’s time, only ask when she isn’t stressed out or exhausted – yes, you may just have to wait longer than you would prefer but trust me, this IS the better option because she won’t be able to hear your heart otherwise and she will just feel weighed down and more exhausted.
This leads me to the topic of freedom.... Freedom:
This is a big one. There are many layers around the topic of freedom that I will cover throughout this letter since freedom is a top priority.
I didn’t take into account when dating her, what it means for a feminine woman to feel freedom. As you know, Jenni is a gorgeous woman. In this society, beauty is seen as a privilege because this world idolizes physical beauty. With such idolatry though, comes a shadow side (of course!). Our society tries to possess beautiful, feminine women, as if they own people like Jenni. When Jenni doesn’t perform as a “pretty woman should” she is often faced with the wrath of a world that doesn’t truly value her in the first place. If I could do something different, I would have spent more time understanding what it is like for Jenni in this world. When she talks about her experiences as a feminine minister, I see the confident side of her that knows no one can tear her down. But I also hear the pain. I imagine it is very painful to have people constantly questioning your intelligence, leadership, and worth because of being an attractive, feminine woman. Thank God Jenni has a strong sense of self but it doesn’t change how painful it can be to not feel seen and valued. My advice is to continue reading about the struggles of being a woman in this society. Ask questions and be available for her in whatever way she needs, when she is experiencing pain. This is just one type of freedom. Keep reading...
SAFETY:
I was so busy trying to feel safe in the relationship that I neglected to ask myself if the way I approached, her honored her freedom. I hate admitting this, but I didn’t comprehend all the ways I tried to control her. I wish I had looked more deeply at my participation in this sexist world and how I contributed to Jenni’s suffering. Jenni has