Page 186 - NEWNORMAL_ANIMATED
P. 186
NEW NORMAL
HELLO,
I AM A PANDEMOHOLIC
Michele Padberg
Co-Owner & Co-Business Management Team Manager for Vivác
Winery in New Mexico Mountains, relaxed wine writer, capable
organizer. Certified Advanced Sommelier, International Wine
Judge with European tasting skills.
As we all circle around to the anniversary of call of the day. The “oh hey is it Happy Hour al-
our 1st Global Pandemic, I think it is safe to say ready?” liars. The “Geez Karen, do we have to
that we are all on the spectrum of crazy, I think zoom drinks after a day of zoom calls for work?
it is safe to say that we are all on the spectrum Can’t we just drink in the dark while watching
of crazy. Especially our leader and editor-in- Netflix all night because I never sleep anymo-
-chief, but he was pretty strange even before re?” type of people. These people are mildly
it started. Perhaps you have had it lucky and drunk all the time and as such seem very Zen.
are sailing through with a big home in a warm Ahhhhh Zoom; the reason most people are
place and a gorgeous pool. Maybe you have now alcoholics during the pandemic. Most of
a beautiful person that brings you fancy drinks us have had to fast track learning zoom, com-
and adjusts your umbrella angle. Yes, we have plete with a range of embarrassing experien-
seen your posts on Instagram and yes, the rest ces like “Phil, we can see you aren’t wearing
of us hate you. pants” to thinking you are so cool with the
Most of us on the other hand, have retreated fancy fake background that resulted in you lo-
to small homes, packed in unhappy children, oking like a bodiless, flying head… and a total
grumpy spouses and taken on the role of stay dork, and then maybe my favorite, the I-Don’t-
at home parent, work from home employee -Even-Care-Anymore look that stars week old
(or boss if you have leveled up to ‘bonkers’ on lounge pants, dirty hair and no makeup. No
the spectrum), homeschool teacher and if you one had any idea that the cute phrases of “too
are really lucky, maid and chef too. What I have much screen time” would catapult into the
marvelled at, as I scroll for hours over my many world we have been living in this past year,
social media platforms, is watching so many but here we are, big butts, grown out roots
families go from cuckoo, to looney, to straight and at home haircuts simply unfit for rejoining
up insane by adding a puppy to the mix! What society.
are you people thinking?!? On the other end So what WILL be the NEW NORMAL as we
of the spectrum are the group that I identify get vaccines and have to leave our homes to
with… the drinkers. You know who you are, (cue the movie “Jaws” soundtrack) deal with
the wine in the coffee mug for the first zoom people in the flesh? I for one, hope to see
186