Page 186 - Under the Cover of Darkness

internally when you realise that the cut of a blade actually
feels comforting by comparison. It’s a bit like rubbing a
bump on your knee. You banged your knee so you give it
a vigorous rub to try to ease the pain. The bump is the
emotional pain. The rub is the self-harm.
Releasing PRESSURE: We can all feel stressed and
pressured. Sometimes to the extent where it’s really
difficult to cope with. For some people though, and for a
variety of reasons, their internal stress, pressure or even
racing thoughts and feelings can build to such a point
that it literally feels physically unbearable. This is when
people self-harm as a pressure release. It’s like bursting a
damn or popping a balloon.
A NATURAL ANTI-DEPRESSANT: When the body
experiences pain, the brain releases its own natural
painkillers e.g. endorphins. You might have heard that
endorphins create a natural high, like when people
exercise. Perhaps this is one of the reasons people get
addicted to exercise. So, when we realise that pain causes
the body to release natural antidepressants – hurting
oneself to deal with depression presents an element of
logic rather than seeming entirely illogical. (However, this
is NOT a recommendation to self-harm!) A similar effect
can be created by eating extremely hot spicy food such as
chilli or curry. Perhaps a Vindaloo might be the thing to
try during a depressive bout?!
Ownership of CONTROL: Many (but certainly not all)
people who self-harm are being / or have been abused.
This can lead to a feeling of being owned and controlled
by someone else. Their free will has been stolen by an
abuser. Hurting themselves can be a way of re-gaining an
element of control. The fact that the control they have is