Page 187 - Under the Cover of Darkness

inflicting pain on themselves might not be as illogical as
you may first think because the abuse victim might
attempt to inflict ‘worse’ or more ‘severe’ pain upon
themselves than that inflicted by the abuser. Or at least
take charge of the pain being inflicted on them. To try to
explain this seemingly contradictory point I heard an
example of a young girl who was being sexually abused.
Her abuser was forcing the young girl to perform
inappropriate acts by inflicting pain upon her until she
relented and did as her abuser bid her to do. One day,
when her abuser came into her room she stood before
him and without flinching, she bent her own little finger
back so far as to break it. She took the next finger and
began again saying “You can’t hurt me anymore.” This is
a horrible, distressing example but it illustrates the use
of Self Harm by the self-harmer as a form of control
over or defence from the situation. Other abuse victims
(whether the abuse be physical, sexual, mental or
whatever) might utilise self-harm in a similar way. Not
necessarily in such a demonstrative way but perhaps
cutting themselves behind closed doors and hiding the
wounds.
SELF-PUNISHMENT: Sometimes people have issues
around guilt, where their guilt becomes disproportionate
or misplaced and their self-harm is a way of inflicting
punishment upon themselves. This guilt might be
induced by religious or cultural attitudes to issues
affecting the self-harmer – such as if a person discovers
their sexuality is looked upon as wicked by their culture
or religion. (This is just one of many, many various
examples). These people may inflict physical
punishments upon themselves. A subtler example along