Page 43 - ROYAL ROUGE MAGAZINE 2019 JAN

RELATIONSHIPS

When we talk about affairs, we often categorize them as Unfortunately, there is no communications strictly work- that they have formed a deep

emotional, physical, or both. That’s helpful to some extent. Yet formula to determine when related, being transparent bond. Too often what begins

nowadays, there’s another category that we can loosely call the texting crosses the line into in terms of cell phones and as a cautious “hi...was thinking

of u” turns into “i miss u”
betrayal. In fact, those who are
computers (those who have
TEXTING AFFAIR. behaving in inappropriate ways nothing to hide, hide nothing), and then “can you meet again

tomorrow?” And when it gets to
and working together to
quickly learn how to blur this
line so that they can deflect and improve your own marriage are that point, well, the whole thing

continue to do what they’re all reasonable requests. becomes a lot harder to “delete.”

doing.In the end, you must Visit Debra Macleod’s private

learn to trust your gut. To prevent and overcome practice at MarriageSOS.com

infidelity, couples must learn to

After all, no one knows your build a loving, respectful and there is a reasonable expectation

marriage or your spouse better protective “fortress” around of privacy in marriage. Of

oversimplified husband.” You look the other • 10 Proactive Ways To Fix

scenario goes way and pretend not to notice The Cracks Forming In Your

An e this: Your or be bothered. You force Marriage
lik
spouse strikes up an opposite- yourself to not ask who your • Your Marriage Will Fail For

sex friendship with a person spouse is texting and not show The Same Reasons Celebrity

at work, spin or yoga class, the how worried or hurt you are. Couples Split Up

gym, or through your child’s You lay awake and stare at your Here’s where anything can

school or extra-curricular partner’s phone, wishing you happen. Your spouse may

activities. For some reason, could look through it but not downplay the relationship and

they feel compelled to exchange wanting to cross that line. shrug off your concerns, saying

phone numbers. There’s no real Finally, you crack. “We’re just friends. You have to

need for this, although your trust me.” Or your spouse may

spouse tells you that they need hoosing your words react with an angry, inflated

to stay in touch because of work carefully, you ask your display of wounded indignation than you do. Texting affairs are their marriage, which includes course some co-workers and

or to coordinate fitness class, Cpartner who he or she by saying, “Oh, so I’m not the gateway to emotional and insulating it from the invasive friends need to communicate

the kid’s activities, etc. is texting. If you already know allowed to have ANY friends?” physical affairs. Of the infidelity effects of technology. That’s after-hours. Of course there
who it is, you might tell your He or she may turn the situation cases I’ve dealt with in the past something I talk a lot about in are unhappy marriages that

Soon, their innocent texting partner that you are concerned around so that it’s you who several years, the vast majority my Couples in Crisis book. have deep problems. But that’s

about work or scheduling or feeling second-place. Or finds yourself explaining your started out as “innocent” texting not always the case. Suspicions

begins to escalate into personal, perhaps you wait until your behavior. He or she may make between opposite-sex friends Continued inaction or letting are often warranted. Anger,

ever more intimate texting. partner is in the shower and you feel paranoid, jealous, or acquaintances. You are the texting continue -- perhaps defensiveness and indignation

Your spouse starts guarding give in to the urge to scroll controlling, or pathetic. “You not over-reacting by insisting out of fear of your partner’s may be covers for betrayal.

their cellphone and going into through his or her phone. Either went through my phone! You’re that a spouse end a texting reaction -- only increases the Explanations may be just

the next room to text. They way, you hear or see something crazy. That’s private!” relationship that you feel in chances that your partner will excuses. And all too often, a

lock their phone, change their that makes your stomach sink. Of course there are spouses who your heart is undermining your begin to see you as a nagging texting affair steals so much

password and delete their text More from Debra Macleod: are unreasonably jealous and marriage, and you are not over- barrier to the exciting and time, energy and emotion from

history. suspicious, and who behave in reacting by treating it as a form fresh-faced relationship that he a marriage that a rift forms -- or

controlling ways. Of course of infidelity. or she enjoys via text messages. widens -- between spouses that

For a while, you bite your • Is A ‘Partner Predator’ Texting creates a false sense otherwise would have worked

tongue. After all, nobody Circling Your Husband Or Blocking the other of intimacy between texters. through their marriage troubles.

wants to be “that wife” or “that Wife? person’s number, keeping Within weeks, they may feel

42 ROYAL ROUGE / OCTOBER 2018 / ISSUU.COM/ROYALROUGEMAGAZINE