Page 145 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

fear, guilt, and resentment.

Due to the sociological changes of the past thirty years,
there is no longer a common stereotype of the male and
female role in American society.

A doormat is an inanimate object. You can wipe your
feet on it, step on it, kick it around, or whatever you like. It
has no will of its own. It can be your servant but not your
lover. When we treat our spouses as objects, we preclude
the possibility of love. Manipulation by guilt (“If you were a
good spouse, you would do this for me”) is not the
language of love. Coercion by fear (“You will do this or you
will be sorry”) is alien to love. No person should ever be a
doormat. We may allow ourselves to be used, but we are in
fact creatures of emotion, thoughts, and desires. And we
have the ability to make decisions and take action.
Allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is
not an act of love. It is, in fact, an act of treason. You are
allowing him or her to develop inhumane habits. Love says,
“I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not
good for you or me.”

OVERCOMING STEREOTYPES

Learning the love language of acts of service will