Page 203 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

unadulterated love, and I get credit for the whole thing!
Someone says, “But, Dr. Chapman, that’s different. I
know that my spouse’s love language is physical touch, and
I am not a toucher. I never saw my mother and father hug
each other. They never hugged me, Dr. Chapman. I am just
not a toucher. What am I going to do?”
Do you have two hands? Can you put them together?
Now, imagine that you have your spouse in the middle and
pull him/her toward you. I’ll bet that if you hug your spouse
three thousand times, it will begin to feel more comfortable.
But ultimately, comfort is not the issue. We are talking
about love, and love is something you do for someone else,
not something you do for yourself. Most of us do many
things each day that do not come “naturally” for us. For
some of us, that is getting out of bed in the morning. We go
against our feelings and get out of bed. Why? Because we
believe there is something worthwhile to do that day. And
normally, before the day is over, we feel good about having
gotten up. Our actions preceded our emotions.
The same is true with love. We discover the primary
love language of our spouse, and we choose to speak it
whether or not it is natural for us. We are not claiming to
have warm, excited feelings. We are simply choosing to do
it for his or her benefit. We want to meet our spouse’s
emotional need, and we reach out to speak his love
language. In so doing, his emotional love tank is filled and
chances are he will reciprocate and speak our language.
When he does, our emotions return, and our love tank