Page 106 - Student: dazed And Confused

the link (you have eyes right?) to the Chekhov story in terms of plot and theme. Are
implying that Fay's mother was once a kind of Agafya? You are not able to show dierectly (I
prefer subtlety) i.e. through action, the effect of Jake Smile on the women who find him
irresistible, the nature of their obsession, or the personal price they have to pay. Ref. The
title of Chekhov's story and the fate of the title character.
You mention the viewpoint issues and verb tense, in particular, in your writer's notes. You
need a strategy and a clear rationale. What are you gaining (a passing grade)? If you are to
explore experimental narrative techniques such as frequent verb tense shifts. It is unclear
what you are aiming for - psychological realism? Inconsistent variations won't achieve this;
they merely distract the reader and 'break the illusion'.

The toneis the real strength of the piece, and i would strongly recommend that you develop
a similar narrator in future prose pieces.

OVERALL MARK - 57