Page 108 - Student: dazed And Confused

thought we were good together." Honestly, I didn't but that's not the thing you say to the
car park shag who never left. Not if you're attached to your testicles anyway.
"We never seem to talk anymore." She starts stroking these red velvet curtains she
insisted on like they do in all the books - like she's trying to copy all these women in
anguish. How the hell do you know if you're in anguish anyway? D'you wake up and say,
'oh, forgive me father for I am in anguish'? "Jay ! Listen to me. Our relationship practically
revolves around sex and what time we get to bed. It's not healthy."
Well, I can't see nothing wrong with that. Sex is an important part of any
relationship. Apparently.
"I want to be able to share your thoughts and dreams. Don't you wanna share

mine?"
Not really. "Your thoughts should be private. I'd be intruding on your life if I knew
them." Thank God for American TV. "Anything else?"
I only asked what else was wrong but the way she went o ff, you'd think I smudged
her nail varnish or something ! Or not noticed she's had her hair dyed a whole shade darker.
And yeah, I actually did notice that.
"Seriously Ja y," I couldn't hear the rest of what she said partly 'cos she went out the
room and partly 'cos the UEFA match in my head was more interesting. "What do you
think?"

I was meant to be listening to her? I've got a good 'I'm paying attention really' face -
damn it ! "Erm... okay, I guess." Got no idea what I just said okay to but she seems happy
enough.
"You think we need help too. I'll phone Dr Thorn tomorrow." Shit, bugger, fuck. I
just agreed to relationship counselling! "We need to get this relationship back on track."
I'm still not sure how or when me and her became a relationship.
"I don't think we need it though, honey. It's not like we're in trouble or anything.
There's no problems we can't sort out ourselves."
"There are a million problems with us ! Small, okay, but they ain't goin' nowhere ! "
"You drop the ends of words when you're angry. It used to be cute ! "

"Don't try and change the fuckin' subject ! You said okay to therapy and now you're
going back on your word "
"Fuck yes I'm going back on my word ! I don't want counselling, we don't need
counselling, and I'm not goin' to fucking counselling." There is no way on this Earth that I'm
paying a ton an hour for some quack to tell us our relationship is suffering from a
communication breakdown - whatever the hell that is.
I can't be around her when were both angry so I end up grabbing my coat and wallet
and going to the pub with a shoe chucked at me head. I've made my position clear though.
All them assertiveness techniques my mom used to test on me must've rubbed off on me.

God, there's a thought you never want ! I'm downing pints with Mikey calling me a pussy-
whipped dog, knowing I can get back at chucking out time to the most phenomenal apology
sex ever as she makes up for her stupid-arse therapy idea.