Page 111 - Student: dazed And Confused

never knew you could fly. A huge bit of me wants to get revenge on her Enya or Ace of Base
or Fido. But what's the point, yeah? I'm going to counselling anyway.
It starts raining then and I just know the folding roof won't come up quick enough.
Even the gods hate me. Fair dos, never really liked them either. See, Laura did the logical
chick thing and brought a jacket because she listened to the weather forecast. Why the fuck
do they do that? I mean, looking out the window is good enough for the rest of us and it
was sunny then so I wore a t-shirt. But, even if i brought a jacket... how gay would it look to
be driving a pink VW in a leather? Village People gay. Naturally, she waits until I'm soaked
to the skin before she puts the roof up - selfish bitch - and I can tell she's laughing at me
'cos she turned her face away but her tits are still jiggling like two fat blokes on a seesaw. I

want the underground parking but she wants us to get the first space we see. "My shirt's
stuck to me. No way am I walking round like this."
"Parking in the middle of Birmingham is bad enough as it is - there won't be a space
left if we go round again." She wins a-bloody-gain and I pull into the space down by
Markses. Picture the scene okay, me looking like I just stepped out of a wet t-shirt contest,
getting out of a Barbie pink car, getting high heels (her walking shoes) out the boot. Picture
of straightness today !
"It's this way. Come on."
Yes dear. Lock Blossom up and - why do they have to give everythin' a name

anyway? I just follow her down the road. I could go off but where could I go without using
the Barbie-mobile?
Dunno where we go but I think it's near the big library. There's this door in the wall
with no sign. I'm all gentlemanly and open the door for her but I don't even get a ta. How
mad at me is she? She goes to sign us in and my phone starts blastin' the Match Of The Day
tune. The dirty looks I got - you'd think I killed their dogs ! It was Mikey. "Alright mate?"
"Pub now. Hair of the dog."
"Can't. I'm at that therapy place."
"Like shit you are "
"I am. Had to go, she got her hands on my CDs."

"Signed ones? She's fuckin' nuts "
"I know. I'm not thrilled about being here but whatever."
"You don't need it. As long as she crawls back into your bed at night, it's all good."
"Mikey, you're married. You don't understand relationships."
"God, my heads bangin' "
"Stop being a pussy. Meet you in the pub tonight."
See that's all a phone needs to be used for. Quick, economical conversations. Not
the five hours of crap birds have about Bree's choice of carpet reflected Desperate
Housewives season 3 mentality. Fuck it ! I'm starting to sound like one of 'em now - it's this

place.