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Understanding and Surviving Grief
When any of us experience a major loss, grief is the normal and natural way for our mind and body to react. While we often think about grief as an emotional process; it typically manifests both emotionally and physically. Because grief is such a powerful process, it is unavoidable. Further, regardless of how your loved one died— whether it was expected, or unexpected, whether they were young or old—you will likely feel unprepared for your grieving process.
Why we Grieve and Why it is Inevitable
Just like any emotional process, grief has a function. Psychologists and grief experts believe grief allows for us to process the deep pain of loss. Because the pain is so deep, it can awaken childhood fears of abandonment and leave us feeling extremely vulnerable. For this reason, our instinct may be to put our grief off, and deal with it later. However, denying our grieving process can only lead to prolonging our pain, rather than the desired result of overcoming our grief. In order to overcome our grief, we must face it in our own unique way.
Complications of Grief
Every grieving experience is different depending on both who is grieving, and who is being grieved. Each one of us experiences grief in our own way. How our loved one dies, where they die, and our relationship with our loved ones will all affect our grieving process. Some variations of these factors can lead to complications in our grief.
The most common complications of grief are in the following circumstances:
Sudden Death. Typically a sudden death will prolong the emotional and physical symptoms of shock. Because the mind has not had the time to rationally prepare for loss, feelings are more difficult to access or understand. In cases of sudden death it is especially important to get the support you need to continue your day to-day obligations.
Ambivalence. The more complicated the relationship between yourself and your loved one, the less clear the grief process will be. Every relationship has at least some ambivalence, however; complications can occur when these feelings arise around the time of death, or just after death. In cases of ambivalence we need to forgive ourselves for the
Page 10 - Devlin Funeral Home