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260 | A New Light                                    Chapter Six:   | 285               284 | A New Light

 than  the  person  in  this  entire  description.  My   when he works on attaining a calm mind and reminds himself of the   And Hashem is happy when people do so, because that is His entire
 troubles, the pangs of my soul, and the ailments   lessons that he has been learning, then the inner sense that every   will (Likutei Moharan I 124):
 of my heart are exceedingly more than all of this.   sin and every craving constitutes death awakens within him. Then
 There are no words in the world with which I can   he can argue before Hashem with all his might and with an outcry   “A song, a melody, for the conductor”  (Psalms). The
 express myself. It is very grievous for me, Master   of his heart:                           Hebrew word for  “conductor”  can be  translated as
 of the entire universe, it is very grievous for me,   Master of the universe, I need You to rescue me.   “conqueror.” Thus, this phrase from  Psalms  may be
 my Father in heaven, it is very grievous for me—  Please rescue me right now. Did You create me so   rendered, “Sing to the One Who rejoices when people
 more so  than  any  other  type  of  bitterness.  My   that I would be like an animal? You created me as   conquer Him”  (Pesachim  119a).  When  a person speaks
 soul grieves. My heart moans within  me, “My   a member of the human race, but right now I am   to the Holy One, blessed be He, and in his speech he
 insides,  my insides,  I writhe  in pain!”  (Jeremiah   not a human being. Why am I acting in such a way   employs arguments and requests, he is showing that he
 4:19). Hashem, how many are those who cause me   that I am an animal, a beast on two legs? Rescue   wants to  conquer the  Holy  One,  blessed  be  He,  as it
 grief! How many rise up against me!  me, save me! You must help me immediately, right        were. And Hashem, may He be blessed, gains pleasure
                                                                                              from this. Therefore, Hashem sends this person words
 Rabbi Natan visualized cravings and sins  as swords, deadly   now! I cannot continue in this way for even one   so that he will be able to conquer Him, as it were, so
 poison and evil, ravening beasts. He imagined thousands of arrows   second more. This  is worse than  every prison,   that Hashem will  receive  pleasure.  Without that help,
 whose poison and venom festered in his body, he saw himself as   every type  of  dungeon,  and  the  harshest  and   it would certainly be  impossible  for  creatures of  flesh
 imprisoned and as being pursued by scorpions and thousands of   bitterest punishments. Master of the universe, in   and blood to conquer the Holy One, blessed be He. So
 people intending to kill him. Clearly, his outcry was absolute and   every craving I lose my heart entirely, I lose that   Hashem, may He be blessed, Himself sends this person
 genuine, and his prayer swiftly saved him.  which is most precious to me. I lose my life because   words and arguments to conquer Him.
              of my foolishness, because of my delusions. Day
 If a person does not recognize the spiritual danger he is in because   after day, I am swept away. I am drowning and   Even if this person is the lowest of the low, even if he has no right
 he has sinned so many times that doing so seems permissible, he   in terrible danger. I have no strength left. In one   to ask Hashem for anything, he can ask Hashem to draw him close,
 must cry out  about this itself:  that  he  has lost all of  the  simple                because that is why he was created (Sichot Haran 69):
 sensitivity and awareness of the fear of heaven. He must beg Hashem   more moment, I will be lost. You must save me!
 forcefully and powerfully to help him be able to feel this, and he                             Even if it appears to a person that Hashem, may He be
 must cry out to Hashem even more strongly than before and ask   Contemplating One’s Prayer   blessed, does not want to draw him close because he has
 Him to keep him from stumbling again. He should say: “Master of
 the world, I am no longer sensitive to the presence of death. I have   I have been asked: Isn’t this type of approach called “contemplating   brought about a great deal of [spiritual] damage, and even
 transgressed so many times that doing so seems permissible to me.   one’s prayer”? The Gemara states: “Three things cause [heaven to]   now he is not acting properly and in accordance with His
 If, heaven forbid, I will transgress one more time, I might even think   take note of a person’s sins. These are: [standing near] a leaning   will, may He be blessed, he must nevertheless encourage
 that doing so is a mitzvah. Therefore, I cannot afford to transgress   wall, contemplating one’s prayer, and wishing heavenly punishment   himself  greatly until  Hashem will  have  compassion on
 even once more. That would truly be my end. I need You to have   on  someone  else.”  And  the  Gemara  adds  that “a person  who   him and draw him close to serve Him, because “despite
 compassion on me and save me right away.” Everyone must pray   contemplates his  prayer ends up with  a pained heart”  (Berachot   everything,  I  want  to be a Jew!” Thus,  he wants  to
 from his own place, from his own point of truth. But the common   55a). The commentators explain that this is speaking of a person   conquer Hashem, may He be blessed, as it were. And
 denominator is that a person’s prayer must be uncompromising and   who thinks that his prayer will certainly be accepted. In keeping with   Hashem, may He be blessed, derives pleasure from the
 completely fervent. Come to Hashem with the intent to cry out   this, the halachah states: “Do not think: ‘It is fitting that the Holy   fact that people conquer Him, as it were.
 and with the intent to receive.  One, blessed be He, will do what I have asked for, since I prayed
          properly.’ To the contrary, that attitude will cause a person’s sins             When a person devotes time to the work of the will every day,






























































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