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Chapter Six:   | 283    286 | A New Light                                                                                            Chapter Six:   | 259

 called us His children? Whatever we may be, Hashem   to be noted [because heaven will say: ‘Because this person is so   True Distress
 calls us His children. “Even if it is right in Hashem’s eyes   sure of his merits, let us examine him carefully’]. Rather, a person
 to reject me from being on the level of His child, heaven   should have a hopeful attitude that the Holy One, blessed be He,   Therefore, Rabbi Natan is not sparing in the use of vivid imagery
 forbid, I must do my part to make myself like His   will act out of His kindness. He should say to himself, ‘Who am I, a   when he describes his adversity, his goal being to arouse his own
 child….”  poor and contemptible person, who comes to ask something of the              heart to be aware of his danger and to teach us how we too must
          King, King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He? I can only appeal           arouse our hearts whenever we pray regarding spiritual matters. For
 Rabbi Nachman adhered  to  this approach  in the  most   to His vast kindness with which He treats His creatures’” (Shulchan   example (Prayer 31):
 straightforward way.  Regarding  every  spiritual  salvation that he   Aruch: Orach Chaim 98).
 wanted  to  attain,  he  truly felt  that without it he  was not  alive.                      Master of the world, You know of my embittered,
 Therefore, he cast himself down before Hashem, with his hands and   However,  the implication  of  everything  that I  have  discussed   pounding  heart.  You know the  copious amount
 feet stretched out, and he pleaded for every goal that he wanted   above is that the concern about “contemplating one’s prayer” is   of troubles in my soul, which I cannot bear. You
 to attain, and he felt that if he did not get it he was not a Jew at   relevant only regarding a person’s prayers for physical matters. In   know the  bitterness  of my sighs,  my numerous
 all, and so why should he live? Thus, he was once found “lying   the physical realm, heaven is not obligated to fulfill his requests,   troubles, my distress, my poverty, my labors and
 on the ground with his hands and feet stretched out. Although at   and heaven has its own reckonings. However, in spiritual matters,   my misery. Hashem, woe to my nefesh, my ruach
 that point [in his life] he was extremely weak, so much so that he   there is no such concern. Hashem wants a person to be spiritually   and my neshamah. Woe, how deeply my body is
 was living by a miracle and he was on the verge of dying at every   effective and successful. The more insistent he is, the more heaven   afflicted.
 moment, until his final hour he did not abandon his admirable way   wants to give him what he wants. Therefore, it is no problem for a
 of acting with simplicity” (Sichot Haran 164).  person to stand and request spiritual attainments with all his might,
          because he is asking to attain the fear of heaven, he is asking to be                I cry out to You and sigh from the depths of my
          in accord with Hashem’s will, and he is seeking Hashem Himself,                    exile, from the very lowest depths, like a person
 To Conquer the “Conductor”  as it were.                                                     who has been the target of every kind of arrow,

                                                                                             spear and sword, all of which are still piercing his
 We must believe completely that Hashem wants to give to us.   Positive or Negative          body. His  every limb is pierced by  thousands—
 Every Jew who does the work of the will is basically like Choni the
 Circle Maker. He tells the Holy One, blessed be He: “Nothing else                           by tens of thousands—of arrows, spears and bows
 interests me. I will return here day after day and plead before You   Therefore,  the  Gemara  sometimes regards  the  concept  of   smeared  with  every sort  of  bitter  and  noxious
 for half an hour until You save me. I am prepared to pray for this   “contemplating one’s  prayer”  positively  and  at  other  times   poison.  Multitudes  of  wild  beasts,  snakes  and
 until my final day.” When a Jew is insistent that he will not abandon   negatively (as the commentaries explain). On the one hand, the   scorpions surround  him on every side.  And he
 the work of the will until he receives and is saved, he can strongly   sages state  that contemplating one’s  prayer is  among a set of   is encompassed in enclosure within enclosure, as
 request of Hashem and tell Him, “I need to be saved immediately,   positive actions the fruit of which a person eats in this world and   thousands upon thousands and tens of thousands of
 right now.” Because he has such a powerful will and utter devotion,   whose principal he receives in the world-to-come. On the other   guards and criminals stand around him, constrain
 he will not abandon his goal until he attains it. All that he lacks is   hand, the Gemara says that contemplating one’s prayer recalls a   him and do not even allow him to lift his head a
 proper prayer, complete prayer, the belief that Hashem wants to   person’s sins.            hairsbreadth, even for a brief moment. They shut
 give to him and that his function is to “force” Hashem to do so, as   We must be aware that the contemplation of prayer in a negative   his mouth, confuse his mind, and twist his heart at
 it were, and conquer Him, as it were. Therefore, he tells Hashem:   sense refers to prayer for physical matters. The Holy One, blessed be   every minute and every moment to keep him from
 “You want to save me immediately, now, and I need to be saved   He, determines the exact conditions under which every individual is
 immediately, now. Therefore, You must save me!”                                             crying out to You, from seeking Your compassion
          to serve Him. A person who whines and complains and, moreover,                     and from hoping in Your salvation.
 As Rabbi Nachman says, we must conquer Hashem, as it were.   who thinks that  Hashem must  fulfill his requests,  is very  foolish
          and lacks the  initial  level  of  faith (as I  have  discussed at  length           I am poor and in pain—much, much worse off
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