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must feel like a poor person at the door, but that does not contradict Meeting Hashem Master of the world, You know how far I am from my
the fact that his prayer must be piercing and uncompromising, and true purpose. Not only have I not been careful with all
include every expression of stubborn insistence. This entire chapter is discussing wholeness of faith. Faith means of my actions, not only have I not been careful to avoid
recognizing Hashem. Do not view Hashem as some being who doing anything that does not contribute to the attainment
While on the topic of Moses’ prayer, we must know that Moses places overwhelming demands on you, who tests you and seeks
prayed with utter devotion. He stood stubbornly and asked for ways to make you fail, heaven forbid. Rather, you must attain the of the final purpose, but I have done the exact opposite.
life and not for death. Whenever Moses prayed, he did not wait recognition and strong intuition that Hashem is only waiting to I have engaged in behavior that has distanced me a great
to hear “no.” He prayed stubbornly until he would hear “yes.” help and save you spiritually. The more we proceed on the path deal from that purpose, heaven forbid. I have created
Therefore, he told the Holy One, blessed be He, “If not, wipe me of strong prayer, the more we truly recognize Hashem, because we many blemishes and I have been completely distanced
out now” (Exodus 32:32). That is to say, “either accept my prayer recognize His infinite compassion and love—which He, as it were, from the true goal.
or kill me.” That is not just a prayer. That is utter devotion. He requires of Himself in order to help all those who turn to Him for 9
told Hashem, “Without this salvation, nothing interests me, my life their physical needs and, even more, for their spiritual needs, the And so, my Father in heaven, why do I have
has no importance whatsoever!” without this salvation!” Therefore, latter being His entire will. Hashem wants us to succeed, because such a life, such a life of suffering, such a painful
Moses’ prayer could nullify every decree. our victory is His victory. and embittered life? Is this even called a life? A
thousand deaths are better than such a distressing
Thus, a unique expression is used to describe Moses’ prayer: “I Therefore, we may recite such especially strong prayers for life, because with such a life I cannot attain the
fell before Hashem” (Deuteronomy 9:18). In the middle of his prayer, spiritual matters, but not for physical matters. There is, however, true goal!
he threw himself to the ground with tremendous stubbornness, like an exception: something that is literally a matter of life and death,
a child who, if his parents do not give him what he asks for, is such as a deadly disease. Then clearly all secondary issues are set Master of the world, Master of the entire universe,
ready to throw himself to the floor, beat his head, kick his feet aside and we take all steps necessary for healing. The truth is that
and punch the floor until he gets what he wants. Moses possessed there is nothing more spiritual than life itself. A person comes You Who revive the dead with vast compassion, You
uncompromising stubbornness because he believed that Hashem to the gate of death because of his sins. If he dies, he will die Who are the Life of lives, give me life. May I live and
wants to give to people and to save them. Therefore, he paid without repentance and without having gained rectification. When not die. Give me true life, eternal life, a good life,
no attention to any obstacle. The midrash describes this vividly: he asks for life, he is asking for the chance to repent, to rectify a long life, a life filled with the fear of heaven, a life in
“There was not one corner of the firmament that Moses did not matters and to continue serving Hashem. And that is certainly what which I will constantly come close to the final, true goal
crash into.” Hashem wants. At any rate, when a person prays regarding every for whose sake You created all of the universes, and for
problem and every illness, he must express a great deal of thanks whose sake we came from the upper world, from the
We see here that there is no contradiction between pleading and proceed in accordance with the principles of faith, thinking, highest of levels, to this low world.
for Hashem’s compassion and strong insistence. And there is an “This is what Hashem wants; everything is for the good,” and then
additional reason that a person should cry out with all his strength he must search for the lesson that Hashem wants to teach him with These are not rhetorical flourishes. Rabbi Natan is describing how
and demand salvation immediately, and even tell Hashem, “You this situation. he actually feels. Therefore, when he prays to be rescued from sins
must save me.” When a person feels that committing a sin puts him and flaws, he cries out, quoting Proverbs: “Do not refrain from
in mortal danger, he feels that he is hanging by his hands from a rescuing those taken to death and those on the verge of being
wall, and he does not want to live unless Hashem saves him. Such a Encourage Yourself slain” (Proverbs 24:11). He feels that he is about to die, and he
person can demand of Hashem with all his might, “You must rescue prays, “Hashem, rescue me! Hashem, redeem me! See the danger
me, because otherwise in another second there won’t be anyone In the spiritual realm as well, when a person cries out in a fitting I am in, torn apart in the heart of the seas, ‘deep calling to deep
left to rescue.” And he can present strong arguments to Hashem: way to Hashem to save his life, he must certainly begin with a great to the sound of Your water channels, all of Your breakers and
“If You do not rescue me, I will continue to sin, heaven forbid, deal of joy and he must thank Hashem for inspiring him to do the waves passing over me’ (Psalms 42:8), as ‘those who are my enemies
and that is certainly against Your will. Therefore, You must have work of the will. That is because when a person has a broken heart without any reason hunt me like a bird. They have confined my
compassion on me, and save me and rescue me this very moment!” he can easily become depressed, which is very harmful to serving