Page 43 - Autumn 2012

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A young doctor had moved out to a small community to re-
place a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested
the young one accompany him on his rounds so the commu-
nity could become used to the new doctor.
At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a lit-
tle sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've
probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on
the amount you've been eating and see if that does the
trick?"
As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd
you come to your diagnosis so quickly?" "I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my
stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen
banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick." "Huh," the
younger doctor said, "pretty sneaky. I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with another woman.
She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did, "I'm feeling terribly run
down lately." You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doc-
tor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps." As they left, the
elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"
"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to re-
trieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road
when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.
Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer
they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a
tow.
"I've got room in the house for two of you but
someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the
farmer. The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll
go." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the
door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there.
He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my reli-
gion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same
roof with a pig." The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep
in the barn." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens
the door and the Monk is there. "Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are
sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow.
The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves. Five
minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the
cow are standing there.

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow
morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that
goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT
BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for
work. When his wife woke up she looked out the win-
dow and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in
the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the drive-
way, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bath-
room scale. Ed has been missing since Friday.