Page 5 - TT2018 Official Routebook

The Players on the Toad Tour 2018

devil red driving shoes. Outlandish rumours have circulated that he has a license to kill and packs a
Walther PKK with shoulder strap under his hoody supplied by a very odd man called Q.

Geoff – The poster child Toadster who has been considered by many Toadster wife’s as having a
similar resemblance to a male model who appears on many of the walls of a Marks and Spencer
store near you. With international acclaim he is also seen as the face behind Toad TV and whilst on
Tour he is our own roving reporter. A malicious rumour has recently been circulating that he actually
doesn’t own the Type 21 Honda Powered S2 Elise he tours with and has resorted to renting it for the
week to keep his outgoings to a minimum. This has been substantiated by him never claiming to
have washed it nor has he been able to substantiate any significant financial outlay that other fellow
Toadsters have had to endure and also it has never seen been outside of the tour week. He is a man
of boundless energy and it has been said, when accompanied by a lady admirer after 8 hours of daily
maximum velocity driving, he has been able to perform his duty, vigorously, after four days on tour
and before dinner.

Piers – The true gentleman Toadster. The shock news this year with Piers, after spending a number
of months recovering from a double entry encounter, both frontal and from behind, he has deserted
the light, apparently willingly, for the dark side. A decision that was made so quickly that there is a
rumour that he was put under an evil spell and coerced to the dark side by other members who
frequented the land of the howling V6. The decision, which was so hasty, resulted in him mistakenly
opting for an older model of the V6 which has a glass panel in the rear which serves no purpose
other than vanity, as far as other Toadsters can see. His choice of colour is also alarming as he has
moved away from a life time of grey to a red, to match the Dark Knights racing shoes. We Toadsters,
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who are bathed in the light, fear for him. As with the first model of V6’s, the 2 gear suffers from
complete erectile disfunction and his legendary smoothness on the passes will be compromised as
he will have no other option than miss out second gear all together. Never fear, his Achilles Heel is
the long nights at the bar whilst on tour and this may give us the opportunity to reverse the un-
character- like decision he has taken. It has also been said that he is the only Toadster to attempt a
barrel role in a Lotus. It is believed that he completely failed in his attempt and only achieved a 90-
degree rotation however we have been unable to substantiate this rumour as it appears to have
originated from a very untrustworthy source.

Yiannis – The Greek Toadster who is still on a temporary membership due his un-natural and un-
Toad-like choice in vehicles. His current vehicle of choice is a Renault Cleo ‘something or other,
something or other’ which is not only blasphemous but also insulting to any Toadster’s ears. Its only
redeeming features, beyond that of its box like construction, is its colour, which is most appealing to
but one un-named Toadster, and that it goes damn fast. One year the apparatus that transferred the
engines power to the front wheels failed him, something which is considered as witch craft to the
average Toaster. Only to add insult to injury, he was then seen lurking around the route at strategic
points in an Astra. It was later discovered that he had identified the key points where good-looking
females hitch-hikers used as their preferred pickup points and he was arriving before the main group