Page 6 - TT2018 Official Routebook

The Players on the Toad Tour 2018

to use these ladies for his own personal gratification and amusement with no consideration for his
fellow companions. His opinion is very much sort after, based on his extraordinary insights into the
merits of the various Greek Islands which is considered to be second to none. This focuses mainly on
the beauty of those islands and the women that reside therein. It is rumoured that for women to
gain this coveted recommendation that contact of an intimate nature has to have taken place and
therefore many Toadsters have been forced to stay well clear of the Greek archipelago.

Bandit – the ‘forever anal’ Toaster. Bandit is a man who is well known across the Toad Community
for his wit and humour although his intelligence of late has been questioned as his desire to build an
S1 from scratch, better than Lotus did, has become somewhat of uncharacteristic obsession. In
fairness this has been delegated to a well know German whose anal attention to detail is legendary.
For clarification, this form of anal is different from the type that Bandit is afflicted with. The question
on all our lips is, will it be ready for the off as his attendance will be most welcome. Not only for the
type of person he is but for the clear slip stream his newly painted car will create allowing others less
fortunate to be sucked along in the on-going pursuit of the V6s. He is man who is well known for his
potions and creams, although it has been said that they bear a striking resemblance to every day
household toiletries and great care should be taken to avoid confusion and the resultant
embarrassment of a boil or other such aliment. He openly admits to wanton sharing with height
afflicted Toasters as he has a huge propensity for nightly discharges of liquids to the said
aforementioned and special modifications have been made to his seat in his car to accommodate
the necessary appendage.

Chris – the aforementioned Toadster or in more relaxed surroundings ‘Midget’ or on state Toad
occasions ‘Heir Commandant’. A man who is known and loved for his fixation for order and that
everything has its place and everyone has a place in it. It has been rumoured that he was
approached to play the coveted role of Lord Tyrion Lannister in the acclaimed TV series Game of
Thrones. Although it was conceded that he was too tall for this role it was agreed that he could play
the role on his knees. By all accounts much consideration was given to the selection of this character
role and when the girls where approached at Littlefinger’s Brothel they felt that his over-zealous
appetite for anal interaction was more than they could stretch to and unfortunately he was
therefore discounted. A torrid year followed for Midget a he came to terms with the opportunity
lost. On other occasions it is has been said that he has a penchant for undersized female manikins
and supposedly he has been seen on early mornings still with them but with them displaying
substantial damage incurred to their nether regions. When asked by his fellow Toadsters why this
was he is apparently claimed that they were playing hard to get.

Lisa – The Lady Toaster or Our girl from Essex. When other girls were in pig tails and playing with
pink dolls our girl from Essex was exploring the delights of high performance car handling
characteristics and offering advice to her seniors on pre programable ECU fuel mappings. She has
rarely been seen outside of a pair of trousers although she still retains as an eye for muscly men