Page 50 - Creeative Thinking

Of primary importance in this exercise is that you recognize the offence that has
caused you grief. When writing this letter, you may want to include such things as
how you felt at the time as well as things you wish you would have said. It might also
be helpful to note that you did not deserve to be treated in such a way and to demand
that you be treated with the utmost respect in the future.

As well, you can use this letter to express any empathy you may feel for the offender.
You may feel less bitter and more ready to forgive if you try stepping in to the other
person’s shoes for a while.

Another great thing about a letter of this kind is that it is a great way to wish the
recipient good things for the future. Once you have empathised with your abuser, you
may find it helpful to pray for him or simply wish something good upon him. Since
this letter is meant for your eyes, only, it is important you be as open an honest as
possible.

This exercise will most likely bring back a flood of emotions that you thought you had
already dealt with. Be careful to acknowledge each one of these, as they are all valid
emotions. Although you may feel awful while you are doing this exercise, the bright
side is that, once they’ve been properly disposed of, these emotions are not likely to
resurface.

Consequently, the negativity created by such an experience will also disappear. If
everything goes according to my plan, you quite possibly have learned a thing or two
about yourself, your abuser, or the world in general. This makes it all meaningful
since you have succeeded in taking a once negative, unpleasant experience and
transforming it in to a positive, learning experience.

The next stepping-stone on the road to forgiveness is called responsibility. Regardless
of who is the intended recipient of your gift, YOU must accept some responsibility for
the occurrence of this incident. While it is true that nobody ever deserves to be
mistreated, you are responsible for allowing yourself to be treated in such a way. For
this reason, it is up to you to accept the responsibility of never being treated this way
again.

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