Page 52 - Creeative Thinking

You may be able to take the experience less personally if you can realize that the way
you were treated probably did not have as much to do with you as it has to do with the
way the offender was conditioned or taught to behave.

Many of these abusive behaviours were learned in early childhood and were reinforced
through many years of conditioning. Thus, they can be extremely hard habits to
break. It is unfortunate, however, that we sometimes find ourselves taking the brunt of
a situation in which we are not actually the intended target simply because we are in
the wrong place at the wrong time.

While you can’t heal the person who treated you poorly, you can begin to heal
yourself by forgiving this person for his inappropriate behaviour. Just as empathising
will help you forgive, so will praying for the person of interest in your exercise. Rather
than blaming someone for his hurtful actions, try to wish that he too, receives the help
he needs in order to become healed after his negative experiences.

If you are not a praying person you may want to start now, for it is a great way to
speed up your own personal healing and it also works wonders toward forgiveness. If
you are a little uncomfortable with prayer, use the worksheet provided. After all, a
positive thought is equally as positive whether you call it a wish or a prayer.

Now that you have moved past any blame you may have been carrying, you are one
step closer to being able to give the gift of forgiveness. The next thing you will need to
do is make a decision regarding the person who has mistreated you. What would you
like to see happen with this relationship? Are you content with this relationship as it
stands now? Or, would you like to change it in some way? That may be as simple as
talking to the person about your feelings toward this event or as drastic as cutting him
out of your life altogether.

Depending on the severity of the abuse, you can make this decision without any
guidance from outside influences. You may be willing to chalk it up to simply a
learning experience and try to get on with your life. This is completely up to you. So
do what you feel is right.

Unless you have feelings of guilt that remain to be dealt with, the only thing left to do
is wait. You will get over this and you will be able to move on. Remember; Time is a
healer.

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