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The Beat

The Lighter Side

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been 5. Nevertheless, get sore if you are not appointed
weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the on a committee, but if you are, do not attend
guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow committee meetings.
into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, 6. If asked by the Chairman to give your opinion
officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, regarding some important matter, tell him you
I'll have a really bad asthma attack." have nothing to say; after the meeting tell every-
one how things ought to be done.
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the
7. Do nothing more than is absolutely necessary;
station to give a blood sample."
but when other members roll up their sleeves
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I and willingly and unselfishly use their ability to
help matters along, howl that the Federation is
do that, I'll bleed to death."
run by a clique.
"Well, then, we need a urine sample." 8. Hold back your subscription as long as
possible, or do not pay it at all.
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am
9. If you are asked to support the Central
also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood Committee modestly, refuse.
sugar."
10. If you are not asked, resign from the
Federation.
"All right, then I need you to come out here and
11. Do not tell the Central Committee how it can
walk this white line."
help you; but if it does not help you, cuss it.
"I can't do that, officer." 12. If you receive service without supporting it, do
not give it any thanks.
"Why not?"
13. If the Federation does not correct abuses in
"Because I'm drunk." your division, howl that nothing is done.
14. If it calls for attention to the abuses, resign from
*** the Federation.
15. At every opportunity threatens to resign and
There is an Age Old Adage that says the more then get your friends to resign
things change is the more they remain the same, 16. When you attend, a meeting vote to do some-
thing and then go home and do the opposite.
Twenty-one Ways to Kill the Police 17. Agree to everything said at the meeting and
Federation…W/Cons Marie Savzion…1975. disagree with outside.
1. Do not come to the meeting. 18. When asked for information, do not give it.
2. But if you do come, come late 19. Cuss the Federation for the incompleteness of
3. If you do not attend a meeting, find fault with its information.
the work of the executives and other members. 20. Get all the Federation gives you, but do not
4. Never accept an office, as it is easier to criticize give it anything but h….
than to do things. 21. When everything else fails…..CUSS THE
SECRETARIAT.

JAMAICA POLICE FEDERATION
4th Floor, Office Centre Building, 12 Ocean Boulevard, Kingston
Tel: 876-922-4983 • Fax: 876-922-3799 • Email: info@jpf.gov.jm • www.jpf.gov.jm

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