Page 9 - 200812 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - December 2008

9 The Top 100 Weird Stories of 2008 9 The Top 100 Weird Stories of 2008 The Top 100 Weird immobile. Rouse sprung into action, applied the 18. Teacher Lets Students Vote Out The Top 100 Weird breaks and saved the 40 elementary school Stories of 2008 students in the bus. School officials thanked Classmate Stories of 2008 A kindergarten teacher in Port St. Lucie, Fla., Rouse with a Saturday detention for her allowed each of her students to say what they Continued from Page 7 unauthorized trip back home. didn't like about one of their classmates before Continued from Page 7 having a vote on whether Alex Barton could 31. Florida Man Punches Shark to 24. Student Auctioning Virginity at remain in the class. The five-year-old -- who is Save His Dog Brothel in the process of being diagnosed with autism - When Florida Keys resident Greg LeNoir saw A Sacramento State University grad looking to - got the ax by a cruel 14-2 margin. his terrier, Jake, being attacked by a shark as the pay off her student loans turned to the world's pooch took his daily swim, he didn't take the oldest profession. But there is a catch. Natalie 17. Lehman Brothers CEO Gets time to scream in horror. Instead he Dylan claims she is a virgin and decided to sell Knocked Out immediately dove in and punched the savage her maidenhood to the highest bidder. It's all Sick of CEOs who took large bonuses right beast until Jake was released from its clutches. legal, because the auction is being held by a before their house-of-card companies collapsed Nevada brothel. and then went on to testify in front of Congress 30. Stripper Accused of Going Too Far, about how it was everybody's fault but their Rapes Best Man for Real 23. Gun T-Shirt was a Security Risk own? If so, you will be happy to know that When an encounter between a group of men and A London man was stopped from boarding a somebody straight knocked out Lehman a stripper results in a rape charge, it's typically flight at Heathrow Airport because he was Brothers CEO Dick Fuld. The karmic sucker not the stripper who is standing trial. But that is wearing a shirt that depicted a "Transformers" punch took place while Fuld was riding the exactly what happened after a bachelor party in cartoon character holding a gun. Security treadmill in the gym of his now-bankrupt Australia, during which things got a little crazy reckoned the image could upset other travelers, investment bank. between the entertainment and the best man. and allowed the man to enter the plane only after he changed his shirt 16. Redheads Have More Sex than 29. PETA Wants Ben & Jerry's to Use Blondes or Brunettes Human Breast Milk 22. Wow, Armored Truck Robber Uses With South Park sparking a worldwide PETA sent a letter to Ben & Jerry's Homemade Craigslist to Make Getaway proliferation in "Kick a Ginger Day," 2008 Inc. urging them to replace the cow's milk they An armored truck robber dressed as a wasn't the greatest for redheads. But carrot tops use in their ice cream products with human construction worker used Craigslist to hire a can take solace in the fact that -- kicked or not - milk. We urge PETA to stick to publicity stunts dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make - they end up having more sex on average than which involve female nudity. his getaway. The crook's ad offered a high- those of us with normal hair. Yet another way to paying construction job to anybody who look at it is that redheaded randiness benefits all 28. A Cell Phone's Missing Dot Kills showed up in front of a Bank of America at of humanity. Two People, Jails Three 11:00 a.m. dressed for work. With a diversion Ramazan Calcoban, a Turkish man, sent a text created, the brazen thief shed his outerwear and 15. Lose a Finger, Put Some Powder message to his ex-wife, accusing her of escaped by hopping in an inner tube and On It floating down a nearby river. "changing the topic every time you run of Last spring, the Internet was enthralled with a arguments." But because his phone didn't have a video showing a man who had lost the tip of his character for the Turkish "closed i," what she 21. Driver Who Killed Teen Sues for finger regenerating it using powder made from read was, "You change the topic every time they Damaged Vehicle a pig bladder. Skeptics have pointed out that the are (screwing) you." The woman showed the Spanish businessman Tomas Delgado was man's injury was likely just a particularly nasty- message to her father, who then stabbed driving nearly 50 mph over the speed limit looking flesh wound, and it would have healed Calcoban to death for calling his daughter a when he crashed into cyclist Enaitz Iriondo, that way regardless of the magic powder. But, whore. The father, realizing what had happened, killing the 17-year-old. A regional court found with coverage from the BBC and Associated hung himself in prison. The woman and her two both parties at fault -- Iriondo wasn't wearing a Press, this story seemed legit and probably sisters, who aided in the attack, remain in jail. helmet or reflective clothing -- and closed the encouraged an increase in reckless knife play. case without issuing criminal charges. But 27. Man Cuts Off Own Head with instead of expressing remorse for playing a 14. Mr. T Brought a Boy Out of a Chainsaw After Losing Eviction hand in ending another's life, Delgado twisted Coma In an elaborate scheme that involved a the knife further by suing Iriondo's parents for Years ago, during the height of the A-Team's the car's damages. chainsaw, the leg of a snooker table, some tape popularity, there was a comatose boy in a and a timer, an Englishman was able to almost Detroit hospital who would only respond when completely cut off his own head. The self- 20. Guy Calls in Sick, Gets Busted by he heard Mr. T's name. Doctors contacted the decapitation was in protest of being evicted Facebook TV star, and he agreed to visit the boy. Right from his apartment. Kyle Doyle, a 21-year-old office worker in after he did, the child awoke from his coma. England, phoned in sick one morning after a (This is all according to Mr. T, but B.A. Baracus 26. Indiana Inmates Sneak Through long night of drinking. Doyle then bragged of would never fib.) So did Mr. T perform this the Ceiling to Have Sex his drunken exploits in his Facebook status bar, miracle? " Three male and three female inmates face and his company's HR department caught wind Unfortunately it. of fortunately, or -- felony charges after they devised a way to sneak considering Doyle worked in a call center -- he 13. Victory for the Topless Front between cell blocks and have sex. The after- After a year of intense campaigning by a midnight encounters also included homemade was fired. feminist group called the Topless Front, the liquor and card playing. Extra prison time and women of Copenhagen will now have the same Skinemax immortality awaits the six-some. 19. Girls Get the Anime Look with right to bare their chests as men have always Extra Wide Contacts enjoyed. "We women would like to decide by 25. Student Disciplined After Stopping There is a new trend among Japanese women to ourselves when our breasts should be sexual and Out-of-Control School Bus wear contact lenses with an extra wide tint that when not," said campaign leader Astrid Vang. Fifteen-year-old Amanda Rouse was feeling makes the iris appear bigger -- just like a sick, so instead of getting off the bus and going character in an anime comic. Whether this The Top 100 Weird Stories of 2008 comes off as a sexy look or a creepy look to school, she decided to catch a ride back to the probably lies in the geekiness of the beholder. is Continued on depot. Along the way, the bus driver fell out of Page 11. her seat during a sharp turn and was rendered