Page 35 - Unit 14 Follow Up: Coaching Conversations

I understand that:
1. The way we start a Coaching Conversation is crucial. It should be done in a way that signals to a child that s/he is not ‘in
trouble’ and we want to work with them to help them feel good and do well.
2. We should always listen to the child’s perspective before we share our own concerns. This signals that we really want to
understand how things are for them; it supports the need to feel listened to and understood; this keeps stress chemicals low
and enables EF skills to work well so the child can problem-solve better.
3. Exploring the child’s perspective properly helps to get to the core of what is really going wrong and means the right
scaffolds and strategies can be designed to support them to do better and are more likely to work.
4. Asking the child to problem-solve gives them a sense of control; this reduces stress levels and enables EF skills to function
at their best. Meeting a child’s needs helps them to feel better and do better.
5. Coaching Conversations put higher expectations and greater responsibility and accountability on to the child by expecting
them to think through different perspectives and work out what needs to happen for them to manage better next time and
for it to be ‘Good for me, good for you, good for everyone’.
6. This problem solving helps the child practice EF skills of flexible thinking and supports improved social cognition & empathy.

I now (or am working to get better at):

1. ALWAYS follow up with a Coaching Conversation when a child doesn’t meet the expectations agreed.
2. Introduce issues in a way that the child feels I am on their side and keeps stress levels low. I emphasise that I want to find
solutions that are: ‘Good for Me, Good for You, Good for Everyone’.
3. I listen to understand. I do not give my own advice or minimize the child’s thoughts & feelings. I ask open questions that aim

to get to the core of what was happening for the child;
4. I explain my concerns using the Speak Up 4 Better sequence
5. I encourage the child to think of their own solutions, so it is ‘Good for Me, Good for You, Good for Everyone’. I leave my
own suggestions as a last resort. If their solutions won’t meet everyone’s needs, (even if crazy e.g. never to go to maths ever
again), I respond matter-of-factly.

6. I do not ’fix’: I remember that the child is more likely to give a go to solutions they have designed.

The impact this will have over time:
▪ The child will feel supported but also feel accountable.
▪ The child will feel a better sense of control over what happens to them and will be more likely to want to practise strategies
and skills.
▪ The child will improve in their flexibility, problem-solving skills and in their social cognition and emotional intelligence.
▪ The child will make better progress over time.