Page 18 - Jewish News_August-2020

18 August 2020 JEWISH INTEREST

Aging Jewishly – What our traditions teach us about growing old Jewish-themed Crossword Puzzle

When elder driving becomes dangerous –

how to give up the keys Your monthly crossword puzzle

By Rabbi Barbara Aiello is generously brought to you by
ou’s twin granddaughters, Rena Steve was stunned and mortified, time when the elderly driver is most A logical next step, according to
and Rebecca, were due at the too. He knew his dad had difficulty be- alert and responsive, and share a pre- professionals, is the creation of a rea-
Lhouse any minute and Lou was hind the wheel but he’d been reluctant pared list of observations about mom sonable timeline that includes rehears-
running a bit behind. Lou had mis- to broach the subject. He’d neglected or dad’s driving behavior. A visit to ing alternative modes of transportation,
placed his cell phone and he had been the problem for so long that now even www.caregiverstress.com/senior- the specifics of selling or donating the
searching for it his children noticed and were begging safety/senior-driving (“Key Warning car, and time for mom or dad to adjust
for more than an him to step in. Signs of Unsafe Driving”) will detail emotionally to a change that for many
hour. The sand- For Steve it may be cold comfort to the problem and crystallize your con- seniors marks yet another instance of
wiches that Lou know that as an adult child of an aging cerns. loss of independence.
planned for the senior driver, he is not alone. In fact, in Be prepared. Have on hand a com- After all, it was Siegfried Marcus,
twins were yet to a study reported by Robyn Huetter that prehensive list of transportation al- an Austrian Jew, who, in 1870 had
be made and the appeared on the award-winning web- ternatives that you already know are the bright idea of attaching a combus-
tablecloth was… site dailycaring.com (May 4, 2020), re- available to seniors in your commu- tion engine to a handcart, thus making
well, somewhere, searchers who studied “Seniors’ Top 10 nity. These range from Uber and Lyft Marcus, not Ford, the inventor of the
but Lou wasn’t Fears of Aging,” found that no longer services to volunteer drivers provided very first automobile. Not for nothing
Rabbi Barbara Aiello sure where. being able to drive ranked as number by synagogues and community cen- did Jews not only invent the car, but
“Grandpa, are you ready for our seven out of the top ten senior fears, ters. Share these ideas with your el- over the years many of us have had
picnic?” Rena and Rebecca burst beating out fear of isolation, fear of derly parent, present them with the list, intense love affairs with our vehicles.
through the door and raced to give strangers as caregivers, and even fear choose a service and together schedule That’s why it can be so hard to adjust
their grandpa a big hug. The girls were of falling and getting hurt. The study a dry run so that mom or dad feels se- to change, especially those changes
excited to share the afternoon with found that “One of the keys to under- cure in knowing what to expect. brought on by aging. But thanks to Job
Grandpa Lou and their dad Steve. “I standing our parents as they age is to In the TaNaK we read “… We have we have biblical guidance: “Wisdom
know we planned a picnic,” Steve said, get a grasp on the things that worry had earthly fathers who disciplined is with the aged, and understanding in
“But I’ve got an emergency at work them. Our parents may not talk openly us and we respected them” (Hebrews length of days” (13:13).
so, Dad, I’ll leave the twins with you. about these things, but you can be as- 12:9). And from Proverbs (23:22), Rabbi Barbara Aiello is the first woman
Maybe you can have your picnic in the sured that they think about them – a lot. “Listen to your father who gave you rabbi in Italy. She is spiritual leader of
backyard.” Knowing the most common fears will life.” The ancient wisdom in our Jew- the first active synagogue in southern
“Nothing doin’,” Lou said. “We help you open a discussion with your ish tradition applies today as we ap- Italy since Inquisition times, founder
planned to go to the nature preserve parents about their concerns.” proach our aging parents with love and of Italy’s Pluralistic Jewish move-
and that’s where we’re going. I’ll drive For Steve, it was his daughters’ respect. ment, and a mentoring rabbi for Dar-
us over there right now as soon as I misgivings about Grandpa’s driving Proverbs reminds us to listen to shan Yeshiva’s conversion program.
make those sandwiches and find my ability that finally motivated him to “our fathers,” which in modern life She is a vice president of Kulanu, an
phone!” take an action. But how to begin? requires that we take into consider- international Jewish organization that
While Lou puttered in the kitchen, Specialists in the field recommend ation our aging parents’ concerns and supports Jewish diversity worldwide.
Rena and Rebecca cornered their dad. that adult children initiate communica- misgivings. We don’t interrupt, badger Contact her at rabbi@rabbibarbara.
Each girl begged Steve to change his tion by recalling that exhilarating sense or provoke. Instead, we listen with an com.
plans. “Please, Dad, we want you to of teenage freedom they felt the first understanding heart and an open mind.
drive us to the picnic.” Steve was be- time they drove on their own. Sharing “Remembering a Legend” by Yoni Glatt, koshercrosswords@gmail.com
fuddled but then Rebecca spoke up. that experience with an elderly parent PLEASE SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS – Difficulty Level: Medium
“Dad, you’ve got to take us there. We can create common ground for the im-
love Grandpa but we’re scared of how portant decisions that must follow. THEY HELP MAKE THE JEWISH NEWS POSSIBLE
he drives!” To begin the discussion, select a

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