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n How do I recognize the achievements of my people and encourage
them to build strength on strength?

n How do I show my respect for the individual?

If you do all of these things effectively you are what one research team
calls “a best boss”. As a best boss you will want to become better yet and
then better still. You will find in these pages the thought starters, case
studies, research findings, key questions and even some of the answers
that will enable you to build strength on strength.

Success will be yours and what is more thinking through and asking the
right questions of the right people at the right time does not only keep you
in control, it is fun.

Questioning skills

The value of asking questions cannot be overemphasized. You can effec-
tively manage a person’s thinking by asking the right questions. Psychia-
trists, psychologists and the most effective salespeople think deeply about
the questions that will direct thinking along the lines that are appropriate.

If you want a person to think about how they think or how they feel
about something ask them open questions. These are simply questions
that cannot be answered briefly or with a “yes” or “no”.

n What keeps you awake at night?
n What’s your evidence?
n If it were your responsibility what would you do?
n How do you feel about it?
n What do you think should be our next steps?

– and the most widely used open question of all:
n Why?

Although it is usually easier to begin by asking open questions and then
focus down on to what is important by asking closed questions, psycholo-
gists know that to ask open questions of somebody who feels threatened
only adds to the pressure and frequently causes them to clam up or mutter
things like “I don’t know” or “I’m not really sure”. To get shy people or
people under pressure to talk freely, ask closed questions first and then
open up the discussion when they show signs of feeling comfortable. In the
case of very stressed people make sure that the closed questions that you
ask initially are “safe” ones even though you probably know the answer.
Help them to feel that it is safe to talk to you.

n Do you enjoy your job?
n Are your friends helpful to you?
n Are you comfortable talking about this?

xxviii Introduction