Page 60 - The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin_Neat plip book

seemed to breathe a different air. Ins tead of creating exciting dynam ics in the ir
positions, these guys competed like Anaco ndas , pr eempt ing every aggr essive

idea until opponents were paralyzed and gas pi ng f or life.
While I found this work interesting, the effects of moving away from my
natural voice as a competitor were distur bi ng. Ins tead of following my
instincts, my coach urged me to ask myself, “What woul d Karpo v do he re?”

But Karpov had cold blood and mine boiled. When he searched for tiny
strategic advantages, I yearned for wild dynam ics. As I tried to play in the style
that pleased my coach, chess began to feel alien. At times I felt as tho ugh my
head was in a thick cloud and I coul dn’t see the variations . My strengt hs as a

young champion—consistency, compet itive presence, focus, dr ive, pa ssion,
creativity—were elusive and moving out of reach. I still loved che ss, but it no
longer felt like an extension of my bei ng.
Of course I was also at that moment when boys become men. Whi le my

chess life was growing increasingly compl ex, I was thr iving in my coming of
age. My last two years of high school were spent at the Professional Chi ldr en’s
School, an exciting learning environm ent teeming with br illiant young actors,
dancers, musicians, a fencer, a young entrepreneur, a coupl e of gy mna sts, and

now a chess player. Everyone at PCS was pur sui ng somethi ng and many
students were famous from movie careers or Broadway roles (talent sho ws and
school plays were absolute jaw-dropper s). The school gave me more fl xibi lity
to catch up on my studies after traveling to di stant tour nam ents, and the

education was first rate—one creative writing class with a brilliant woman
named Shellie Sclan was the most ins pi ring acad emic exper ience of my life.
I read Hemingway, Dostoevsky, Hesse, Camus , and Jack Keroua c. I went
out with girls and brooded about spen di ng half my life ent renche d over a

chessboard trying to will heart and soul out of sixty-four squar es. Socially, PCS
allowed young celebrities to insul ate them selves from staring fans , be caus e
everyone was exceptional in one way or ano ther. Thi s was a tremendo us relief
and I thrived at PCS; but in my pr ofessional life I felt oppr essed. The one -two

punch of a fame I wasn’t really prepared for and a bui ldi ng sense of aliena tion
from the art I loved had me hungering for escape. When I gr aduat ed from hi gh
school, I deferred my acceptance at Colum bi a Uni versity and took off for
Eastern Europe. I had fallen in love with a Slovenian girl and decide d to spe nd

some time on the road.