Page 29 - How to play life to your advantage -print
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So, the way that we manage our anxiety in our lives is that we assert our boundaries.
I recall a few years ago I was working in a job and I had a lot of anxiety in the job. I
didn't know where I stood with my boss. I felt uncertain about my job security. I sought
counselling.
I came to realise through counselling sessions that I wasn't asserting my boundaries
with my boss. I needed to be asking for what I wanted. Even more than that, if I didn't
have the courage to ask for, I wanted, I needed to at least ask my boss to provide me
with clarity over what he wanted or expected from me. By doing so, by asserting my
need to have clarity and certainty on what I was meant to be doing I was able to
dissipate my anxiety and replace it with a clear boundary. A clearly defined resolution
of what I was meant to be doing.
So, you can see here that actually a lot of the time in our lives we tend to believe that
what we want doesn't matter. We don't want to impose our needs onto the people
around us. We don't want to assert our deep desires onto the world around us because
by doing that we're making a choice. We are choosing ourselves rather than socially
pleasing the people around us.
And it’s scary. It is scary because not everyone's going to like you. Not everyone is
going to agree with what you want. And that's a hard pill to swallow sometimes.
Especially if you're insecure or concerned about being loved, valued, or worthy.
In order for you to start feeling loved, valued and worthy you need to start loving,
valuing and giving yourself worth by asserting who you are and what you want onto
the world around you.
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