Page 29 - How to play life to your advantage -print
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So, the way that we manage our anxiety in our lives is that we assert our boundaries.

               I recall a few years ago I was working in a job and I had a lot of anxiety in the job. I


               didn't know where I stood with my boss. I felt uncertain about my job security. I sought

               counselling.



               I came to realise through counselling sessions that I wasn't asserting my boundaries

               with my boss. I needed to be asking for what I wanted. Even more than that, if I didn't

               have the courage to ask for, I wanted, I needed to at least ask my boss to provide me

               with clarity over what he wanted or expected from me. By doing so, by asserting my

               need to have clarity and certainty on what I was meant to be doing I was able to

               dissipate my anxiety and replace it with a clear boundary. A clearly defined resolution

               of what I was meant to be doing.




               So, you can see here that actually a lot of the time in our lives we tend to believe that

               what we want doesn't matter. We don't want to impose our needs onto the people

               around us. We don't want to assert our deep desires onto the world around us because

               by doing that we're making a choice. We are choosing ourselves rather than socially

               pleasing the people around us.



               And it’s scary. It is scary because not everyone's going to like you. Not everyone is

               going  to  agree  with what  you want.  And that's  a  hard  pill  to  swallow  sometimes.

               Especially if you're insecure or concerned about being loved, valued, or worthy.



               In order for you to start feeling loved, valued and worthy you need to start loving,


               valuing and giving yourself worth by asserting who you are and what you want onto

               the world around you.




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