Page 18 - Failure to Triumph - Journey of A Student

“If you choose bad companions, no one will believe that you are
anything but bad yourself.”- Aesop

How to deal with friends and relatives?

Many a time, students get affected to a great extent by what their
friends and relatives say. This kind of problem leads to mental
restlessness and it does not go away easily. Some of these friends
and relatives spread so much negativity that students end up getting
disappointed as well as frustrated. Frustration feels like the worst
feeling in the world.

We can’t wish away our friends and relatives. We have to live in the
same society and co-exist with them. And we can’t even run away
from these people. So how do we stay blissfully positive in the
presence of such negative people?

First of all, we have to understand and acknowledge that occurrence
of differences in opinion is as natural as bonding over similar
thoughts and ideas. Since we live in a society it is but obvious that
people will form opinions about our lives and comment on our
actions. We will be judged for no specific reasons. Praise and
criticism will be hurled at us from all sides. And we cannot be open to

praise and say no to criticism. However, we must know that neither
praise nor criticism determines our result. They merely serve to
influence the direction that we have taken. Addiction to praise or
criticism can be as destructive as any other addiction.

I will explain this further with an example. Let’s assume that you

want to become an IAS officer and your friends keep showering
praises on you all the time. Obviously, it will make you happy and
you will feel good about yourself. But is this praise good enough to
make you a collector? No. You can become a collector only if you
work hard and put in your time and efforts. Even if your friends keep
on praising you 24x7 throughout the year, the praises won’t
metamorphose into your desired results.