Page 10 - Meeting with Children Book

P a ge | 8

“I do not want to meet with a child because I don’t
want to increase the pressure already on those poor
kids”.

“I just think this family law stuff is parents’ work, and
we should protect children from their parents’
nastiness”.

Voices and choices is a tiny phrase that occupies the
thoughts of many courts, government officials,
lawyers and mental health professionals. Due to the
fear that voice equals choices, our system has
managed to function with very limited ability to ever
engage with the voices of children.

At the outset we want to clear up some
misconceptions. By not speaking with children about
their experiences of their parents’ separation, we are
not somehow protecting them from their parents’
family law fights. By contrast, children are living their
parents’ wars, and by not meeting with them we are
removing an important opportunity for them to
speak about their unique experiences of their post
separation families. Children have views already. By
Meeting With Children we are not creating their
experiences, we are just hearing about them.

Additionally, Meeting With Children does not equate
with asking them to make decisions for their parents.
In giving a voice to a child, are we ultimately asking
that child to make the grossly unfair decision of
choosing between their parents? No we are not. No