Page 47 - Meeting with Children Book

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thinking or perceptions of self and others. Faulty
beliefs about the self and others then often leads to
making poor judgments and erroneous attributions.
The trouble with this phase of development is that the
adolescent thinks everyone else is looking at them and
that no one else does or ever will feel the way that
they do or alternatively, can do the things they do.
There is an alternating vulnerability and invincibility
inherent in this stage of development.

A diminished capacity to relate to peers is one
outcome of having lived in a high conflict family. The
interpersonal skills are lacking for this group as they
have had little modelling about how to appropriately
address conflict and repair when faced with complex
dynamics between people. Some youth have
managed uncomfortable and complex feelings by
isolating from their peers while other have sought an
“out of control” peer group that emphasizes risk
taking and negative behavior that includes exploitive
and dramatic actions. Negative aggressive behaviors
out-shadow more mutual, caring relationship
possibilities.

Adolescents need to develop the capacity to take
distance from family conflict. The older adolescents
become, the more and more capable they are of
metacognition (thinking about their thinking) and
they are more introspective. It is, however, difficult
for youth living in high conflict situations to establish
boundaries between themselves and their parents
and to accurately read circumstances. Johnston et. al.,
(2009) note: