Page 70 - Meeting with Children Manual

Section 5 P a ge | 68

 She doesn’t know a thing about hockey and she cannot provide the guidance and
coaching that I can for Chris. Her involvement only makes him nervous and upset
 He has no formal education so I can hardly expect him to be of any assistance with
Justin’s special school program. I have always been the one to assist with all
school related issues and any interference only decreases Justin’s progress
 She prefers my house and my new partner and her children. Our environment is
much calmer and happier. I don’t blame her for wanting to stay at our house most
of the time. I support her decision when she says she does not want to be at her
mother’s home. She gets no attention there anyway

ITEM 6. Problem- Solving Ability
Individual ability factors
Some parents appear unable to solve a simple problem related to parenting. How to
organize a small change in the schedule, or how and when to communicate with the
other parent may seem insurmountable. Those parents who score low on this item
have difficulty breaking a problem down into smaller parts. Typically, these parents
complain about multiple issues at the same time. If they were to simply approach one
problem at a time and not blur past problems with a current problem, they may be
able to resolve more issues. These parents tend to either be rigid in their thinking,
view contributing to a resolution as giving in or losing power, are somewhat
disorganized, irrational or have difficulty identifying options, etc. The following are
some possible examples of poor problem-solving abilities:
 She didn’t include Julie’s bathing suit so the whole weekend was ruined because
we could not go swimming
 I was late but it was obvious so why do I need to call
 I ran out of lactose free milk – what could I do
 He never returns the sports equipment because he does not want to see me. I
guess the kids can’t go to their activities when they are at my house
 I can’t be in the same place as him. It is impossible so I am not going to any of the
activities in the future
 It is very hard for the kids to walk to the door with all of their things – why can’t
he just carry the things for them
 I can’t take her to the eye appointment. I don’t have medical plan anymore
 I don’t have a car… how am I supposed to take her to swimming lessons
 I want to go on the field trips with Andy! Why is he signing up for the same
activities as me
 I can’t do anything special for Matt and Cindy… You have already done everything
with them

ITEM 7. Parent Ability to Self-Regulate
Individual ability factor
Self-regulation has become a popular and well-used term. In part, the self-regulation
function is the control of arousal and control over the expression of emotions
(Bronson, 2000). In essence, self-regulation is the ability to regulate arousal states in
order to reach goals and to control oneself behaviorally in a socially adaptive manner.

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