Page 68 - the-idiot

and rather tired of her present life. Having remarked how
difficult it was for him, of all people, to speak to her of these
matters, Totski concluded by saying that he trusted Nasta-
sia Philipovna would not look with contempt upon him if
he now expressed his sincere desire to guarantee her future
by a gift of seventy-five thousand roubles. He added that
the sum would have been left her all the same in his will,
and that therefore she must not consider the gift as in any
way an indemnification to her for anything, but that there
was no reason, after all, why a man should not be allowed
to entertain a natural desire to lighten his conscience, etc.,
etc.; in fact, all that would naturally be said under the cir-
cumstances. Totski was very eloquent all through, and, in
conclusion, just touched on the fact that not a soul in the
world, not even General Epanchin, had ever heard a word
about the above seventy-five thousand roubles, and that
this was the first time he had ever given expression to his
intentions in respect to them.
Nastasia Philipovna’s reply to this long rigmarole aston-
ished both the friends considerably.
Not only was there no trace of her former irony, of her
old hatred and enmity, and of that dreadful laughter, the
very recollection of which sent a cold chill down Totski’s
back to this very day; but she seemed charmed and really
glad to have the opportunity of talking seriously with him
for once in a way. She confessed that she had long wished
to have a frank and free conversation and to ask for friend-
ly advice, but that pride had hitherto prevented her; now,
however, that the ice was broken, nothing could be more