Page 498 - the-brothers-karamazov

understand that life is heaven, for we have only to under-
stand that and it will at once be fulfilled in all its beauty, we
shall embrace each other and weep.’
I would have said more but I could not; my voice broke
with the sweetness and youthful gladness of it, and there
was such bliss in my heart as I had never known before in
my life.
‘All this is rational and edifying,’ said my antagonist,
‘and in any case you are an original person.’
‘You may laugh,’ I said to him, laughing too, ‘but after-
wards you will approve of me.’
‘Oh, I am ready to approve of you now,’ said he; ‘will you
shake hands? for I believe you are genuinely sincere.’
‘No,’ I said, ‘not now, later on when I have grown wor-
thier and deserve your esteem, then shake hands and you
will do well.’
We went home, my second upbraiding me all the way,
while I kissed him. All my comrades heard of the affair at
once and gathered together to pass judgment on me the
same day.
‘He has disgraced the uniform,’ they said; ‘Let him resign
his commission.’
Some stood up for me: ‘He faced the shot,’ they said.
‘Yes, but he was afraid of his other shot and begged for
forgiveness.’
‘If he had been afraid of being shot, he would have shot
his own pistol first before asking forgiveness, while he flung
it loaded into the forest. No, there’s something else in this,
something original.’