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Why Yogis End Up On Mountain Tops:

From Dimwit to Enlightened in 40 Days

Enlightenment into Nothing - My Story…

So began my journey into spiritual awakening, in the land of the Waiter! I’ll Take My Check
ignorant, in the dark, dimwitted world of reality and the idea of this Isn’t that what life is about, one huge reality check? When we en-
tale was to find out how to get to enlightenment city, where things ter this world we are all the same, slimy and innocent. The doctor
sparkle and shine - or something like that. smacks us on the rear, we cough and cry and “hello, reality check!”
To be very clear, I am not a scholar or particularly gifted in any All we did was show up and some stranger slaps us for “our own
spectacular way. I don’t see dead people and I don’t hear voices in good” and sets the stage for how it all goes down from there. In
my head. I am not a self-proclaimed anything and I have nothing to order to walk we must fall down, in order to ride a bike we must fall
prove or loose. Often, I have pondered what life is really all about over, in order to have success we must fail. Granted, the amount of
and I hoped that I was living my times we fall down, over or
“life purpose” if there really is a under will depend primar-
purpose to life as all the experts ily on how quickly we catch
say. on, but none the less it is
My outlook in life has mostly through our pain, that we
been hopeful. However, I realize how much the learn-
believe I was born a realist ing curve sucks and we
outfitted with designer rose really want to avoid the pain
colored glasses and a half-full at all possible cost, most of
bottle of milk. It is very typical the time.
that once I make a decision to In the course of figuring out
do something, there is no stop- what enlightenment was all
ping me, just ask my Mom. She about, I was exposed to a
experienced quite a bit of that lot of forms that the enlight-
mentality from about the age of enment process comes in.
two. Also, I tend to have a “take I have peered into most
the bull by the horns” approach religions, methodologies, San Diego
to most things I do and when therapies, processes and Woman
you mix that with the stub- self-help seminars that
born belief system that I can all paint the portrait of the
do anything I put my mind to perfect way to gain salva- 21
(something I already possessed tion, for one low-price. Some
and that got overly developed were insightful and some
at one of those motivational were not. Some were a lot
seminars I attended in the 90’s), of fun and some left me
you have one motivated, strong wondering “what the hell
willed and positive she can do just happened?” But none
it, woman. And as true as this the less, I kept the faith
may be, it usually affords me that somehow, I was going
the ability not to come out of to reach enlightenment if it
most experiences unscathed. killed me. Based on those
Like most humans I have expe- encounters, I decided to
rienced many negative things in write a blow by blow guide
my life and yes, sometimes the to one girls take on enlight-
negative stuff really bummed enment. This book is my
me out. Still my positive perspective forged ahead. However, there story. It’s a story of how and why I think it is so important that we
has been many times when my positive perspective was not met dimwits “get enlightened” and hopefully what I say here will spark
with appreciation. At one point in my career, I had an employer something that makes you blink. For in the blink of an eye, life can
tell me that my glasses were a little too rosy for their liking. I guess change forever. What I’m going to discuss is not only about finding
positive thinking didn’t mix too well with the tyrannical business enlightenment, it is also about what happens once you think you
model. Needless to say, I only lasted so long at that job. are there. This book is a guide down that long and winding, humor-
From that experience, I learned two very important lessons. First, ous side, of the all too human side, of the spiritual journey, because
not everyone encourages or even likes a positive mindset. Second, I discovered, reaching enlightenment is not all that serious.
there are significant degrees of positive and negative personal-
ity types and it varies as to how much is tolerable between them. This is an excerpt from the book by Monica Lucas, Why Yogis Live
Some people can be so negative that, even if you have a glimmer on Mountain Tops: From Dimwit to Enlightened in 40 Days. This
of positive behavior, they judge you as being an airy-fairy freak and book will be released November 2014.
think that you need to be written a reality check, all of which they
Photos by Melissa Jacobs are more than willing to sign.