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Values and Goal Setting

This section will have helped you determine your core values and recognise their importance in achieving your authentic state of happiness. Your values are
you, they are what you stand for and what makes you happiest when you live your life in accordance with them and unhappiest when you are forced to
compromise them.

Any goal setting program that is not based on your core values is flawed from the outset.

If you were to ask someone what they want most from life, they might say something like “a half a million pound house” or “a top of the range Mercedes” or
“a kind, understanding, compassionate, sensitive and considerate partner”.

These are wants, not values. In these examples, it would be important to ask “If you got the house, Mercedes or the ideal partner, what would you gain and
how would that make you feel?” The answers might sound like this : “With a half a million pound house I would gain the respect of my friends and I would
feel proud”. In this instance, respect and pride are the values that underpin the goal.

For the second example you might ask “If you got the Mercedes what would you gain and how would it make you feel?” The answer might be “I would be
seen as successful and it would make me feel accomplished”. This time, the values identified are success and accomplishment.

Finally, we might ask “Supposing you got your ideal partner, what would you gain and how would it make you feel?” The answer might be “I would feel loved
and understood for who I am”. The values identified here are love and understanding.

It is invaluable and essential to elicit your core values before putting your heart and soul behind the goals you might be considering. This is the main reason
why some outwardly successful people, who seemingly have all the trappings of success and happiness, remain discontented. It is only when they have identified
their core values that they realise the goals they set out to accomplish would never bring them satisfaction, because they were not aligned with their values. An
obvious example would be to set oneself the goal of having numerous one night stands, when your core value is to have real, meaningful love in your life.
Clearly the goal is misaligned with the value and you would be setting yourself up for disillusionment and unhappiness.

Only when you have identified what matters most to you in terms of values in the key areas of your life, can you determine the goals you want to
accomplish that will honour your values. To do otherwise would be a recipe for disaster, promising only a lack of fulfilment and plenty of heartache.

Understanding the importance that our values have on our lives is fundamental to achieving a balanced, happy life. Values impact on our beliefs, which together
have a powerful part to play in whether we set goals to begin with and if we do, what we choose to achieve. Eliciting our values and discovering how we can
choose to live our lives so that our values and belief are honoured is a major step to achieving the rewarding, fulfilling, happier lives we all seek.
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