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The Greatest Love Requires Great Courage

It doesn't take much courage to simply have a relationship. You choose to spend your time with someone, to have sex with him or her, perhaps
to live together. It does however take courage to love your partner deeply, to not be merely a couple but to be true lovers, and to create a
conscious relationship together. The greatest love always requires the greatest courage.

If you measure the success of your relationship in terms of how comfortable it makes you feel, you may convince yourself that your relationship
is good because it doesn't challenge you, and confuse yourself that your challenging is unhealthy because it's creating wild surges of emotion. I'm
not saying that a relationship that is always painful is good for you, and you should stay with that partner—you shouldn't. When you develop the
courage to love deeply and consciously, you will find yourself feeling uncomfortable a lot of the time, as your relationship stretches you beyond
the boundaries of your comfort zone as you experience the changes essential to growth.

The depth and honesty of your love, and the more trust you create between you, the more your relationship will present you with the truth, and the
more uncomfortable you may become. Sometime after a significant commitment is made in a relationship, such as moving in together, getting married
or having a baby or another baby, will usually bring with it a time of conflict and turmoil. Remember the Power Struggle referred to earlier in the
chapter, well here it is.

The Courage to Share Precious Moments

If loving deeply requires a certain degree of emotional courage, then sharing precious moments requires even more courage. Why?

The more precious moments you share together, the more difficult it will be for you to avoid the truths you may have denied or hidden
from in your relationship, the harder it will be to pretend things are “ok” when they're not, to convince yourself that you're being loved enough when
you aren't, and to close your eyes to the unspoken problems in your relationship. We go to great lengths to avoid these precious moments as I call them,
because they force you out of your comfort zone and demand that you finally attend to the problem with complete honesty. It's time to take off your masks
and reveal the feelings at the heart of who you are. It is the only way to true growth within the relationship. The longer these issues are ignored, denied or
masked, the more deep rooted the issue becomes and the greater the level of pain and heartache when they finally burst their way to the surface.

You Are The Source Of Your Love

When the initial bliss of relationships start to fade, the common misconception we adopt is that it is up to the other person in our relationship
to do or say something to make you feel more “in love”
You are the source of the love that you feel in your relationship, NOT the other person. Bear with me on this, I will explain in more detail
later in the chapter. For now though, it is crucial to understand that it is your responsibility to learn how to fall in love with your partner over
and over again. It isn’t something you do once only and can then sit back. Know their needs, remember the essential elements that made you
feel the sensation of love, showing attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance and understanding. Demonstrate your respect, passion and Page380
above all, your friendship for them. Love is an active verb, like a plant that will die without water, love will die without your care.