Page 384 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 with next section introductions-compressed

True love is when you care enough for another person to allow them the space and time they need to become all they can be. If someone says to you: "If you
love me, you would …," that is not love, this is control. True love is easily recognised as unconditional support. True love occurs when you shift from
unconscious commitment to conscious commitment. When you hear people say: 'Relationships are really hard work,' this is an expression of unconscious
commitment," Conscious commitment, means that you reveal your true self to your partner and support your partner through thick and thin.

All love comes from an open heart. When you're together, it's open and safe at the same time. This doesn't mean the person you love is necessarily your life
partner. So how do you know if you're in a lasting relationship? Here are a few pointers:

1. You feel good. A good relationship makes you feel good about yourself.
2. You look forward to spending time with your partner. You don't need to be with other people, spend lavishly, or go to events to avoid being alone
together. You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet.
3. You respect your partner. You hear yourself bragging about your partner. You say things like: "My wife is a really talented designer”. If you find
that you're always talking about yourself, or your children, you're not focused on your partner or the relationship.
4. You're interested in what your partner thinks. You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. If he or she disagrees with
you, you genuinely don’t mind.
5. You accept your partner's quirks. Everyone has them. If your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape. If they really bother
you, you should look more closely at the relationship.
6. You're able to work through your problems. It's natural to have some bumps in the relationship road to true bliss. People in healthy relationships
see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their partner. However, if you're creating problems, or if you think every fight is the "big one"
leading to a break up, you should probably rethink your relationship.
7. You feel safe. You're not afraid of losing your partner.
8. You can't explain why you're together. Many people coordinate their lives so that they have to be together. Ask yourself if you're truly together
because you want to be, and not simply because of circumstances or to keep the image of the happy family unit upheld. If the answer is "yes," then
you'll probably stay together. If it's "no," you're bound to have problems — if you haven't already.
9. You don't compare your partner to others. There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter or more athletic than your partner, but you don't
care because you only want to be with him or her.

If you still don't know whether your love will last, try this last piece of advice Make a list of what you require from someone to be happy. If the list contains
changes that are conditional to your happiness, you will be truly happy only when you see those changes appear indefinitely. If you are genuinely happy in
your heart with who your partner is without the uncertainty of change, you may have found a relationship that will last. Remember though, they must
sincerely want and be capable of making those changes, you can only really change you. Ask yourself “If the changes I want never appear, could I happily
accept that?” Again, only you know the answer.

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