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The poor girl is too young to analyse the situation fully and believes she is only acceptable and praiseworthy when performing well and looking her best. The
father has applied conditional love, albeit unknowingly, that until corrected by the child as she becomes an adult, will affect her beliefs about herself and the
behaviours she will adopt and the outcomes she will achieve.

Some may say this would be good for the childs’ self discipline. If the child were able to differentiate between being loved unconditionally and being loved
for her beauty and performance, this would be fine, but very few children are born with this natural ability and wisdom. Who of us can say that we have not
made similar mistakes with our children at some time or another?

Between the ages of one and eighteen, we are told “No” on average five times daily and positive things on average, four times a year. What type of conditioning
is that? What consequences should we expect?

Types of belief

There are two basic types of belief, generalised and conditional.

Generalised beliefs are those where we group life or people as one, for example “Life is wonderful”, “People are basically good”, “I am a caring loving
individual”

Conditional beliefs are those where we apply a condition that precedes the belief, such as : “If I exercise more regularly, I will extend my life” “If I love her
more she will love me more in return” (A common false belief that causes so many problems in relationships). Conditional beliefs make the statement “if this
applies, then that will happen”.

Where do beliefs get stored?

Each of us is unique, and forms beliefs from different input not only in our conscious but also in our subconscious mind. Our subconscious acts as our filing
cabinet and is totally non judgemental. As we move forward in our lives, beliefs can be activated or triggered and impact on the way we react and the results
we achieve and the choices we make, careers, relationships, care for ourselves and others, our ability to love fully. Since our beliefs are given back to us exactly
as our subconscious mind received them, we think and behave in a way that is consistent with our beliefs.

In some circumstances, these beliefs can be outdated for our current needs, or inherited from others to whom they are more applicable. In these instances, these
beliefs are no longer serving our best interests and can hold us back.

So how do we cope with our beliefs?
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We will, in this section, explore two types of belief, negative and positive, empowering and limiting beliefs.