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Shadow Work is Not about Getting
Rid of Anything. “The shadow cannot be eliminated. It is
the ever-present dark brother or sister.
Shadow work is not about finding a Whenever we fail to see where it stands,
characteristic or quality in someone else there is likely to be trouble afoot. For then
that you don’t like in yourself and getting it is certain to be standing behind us.
rid of it. It is about inclusion, not exclusion. The adequate question therefore never
is: Have I a shadow problem? Have I a
There is a statement in the Bible, “Be ye negative side? But rather: Where does
therefore perfect, as also your heavenly it happen to be right now? When we
father is perfect.” [Matt 5:48] In his book cannot see it, it is time to beware! And it
AION, the Phenomenology of the Soul, is helpful to remember Jung’s formulation
Jung explains that the word “perfect” that a complex is not pathological per se.
was transcribed from the Greek word It becomes pathological only when we
teleios which means “complete.” Jung’s assume that we do not have it; because
explanation is very different from what then IT HAS US!”
we usually understand as perfect. Perfect
implies that you are flawless and have Asking the Self, God within, our higher
somehow achieved a level of mastery. Yet power, the force, or the Universe for
Jung stressed the impossibility of striving help in discerning our imbalances is a
for perfection because this would split- way to start. I have an agreement I make
off our shadow, and therefore, without with my inner being. The agreement
our knowing, constellate the opposite in goes something like this: If I don’t see
our unconscious. something, and it’s important for my
well-being to see it, then please show it
Jung says, “The individual may strive to me three times, and I promise I will
after perfection but must suffer from the listen. That is a guiding philosophy of
opposite of his intentions for the sake of mine that has served me well over the
his completeness.” years. A second life philosophy is that
there are no accidents. I truly believe
We must be willing to suffer an everything is showing us something that
acceptance of our dark side in order to be is necessary for us to see.
a whole self and recognize that, try as we
may, our faults and flaws will continue to If we can meet our partners halfway, then
be with us. They are part of every living we will be doing shadow work with them
human being. Edward C. Whitmont put which will often bring both partners
it very well. He said, into balance. This is why I call this work
‘a dance.’ It takes two. You need others
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