Page 8 - 2019-2020 Leader Manual

Noticing Me Toolkit: Uploading Calm

Behaviour management is one of the most challenging aspects of being a leader in after school programs.
A key component of a trauma-informed program model is its ability to coach participants through these
difficult times, and learn the missing social and emotional skills so that they have a better chance at
success in the future. So, how can leaders effectively calm a participant who is really
upset/challenging/angry?

Calm to connect
o Staying calm, and recovering calm, is a lifelong skill.
o Our connections get stronger when we are calm and predictable.
o First, we “upload calm” (See “My Plan for Uploading Calm” following pages).
o Then we can help “download calm” to others.

Triggers
o Triggers are old body memories of a time of danger. When we are “triggered” we
respond in a very large way to something that is much smaller.
o Each of us has triggers that rapidly move us from calm to upset (i.e., sudden,
intense, hard to get rid of).
o We are stronger when we to know our triggers, avoid being triggered, and learn to
“upload calm” quickly when needed.
o See “Understanding Triggers” (following pages).

Strengths in Calming
o How we calm is unique to each of us. And we have our personal strengths in
“uploading calm.”
o Find out what works best when you are in this new role
(e.g., in front of participants, after a work day, not had supper, etc.).
o See B “Strengths in Calming” chart.

Breathing
o Learn a quick strategy to “upload calm” by deep breathing
o Breathe in through your nose.
o Let your “belly” (diaphragm) fill.
o Breathe out through your mouth, with a longer exhale.
o For fun, try the “Smile, take a deep breath and relax” strategy.

6 Second Distraction
o Learn to diminish your stress response.
o You have 6 seconds to distract your mind before the flood of stress hormones hits
you. This will keep your thinking brain online to handle the hard stuff.

Leader Manual, Social Programs, Calgary Neighbourhoods page. 8