Page 60 - Likutei Tipshim

Herbal
This Years Ad Dlo Yada award goes to Richard Goldstone.
Tea

A new study shows that three quarters of all Americans are overweight. In fact it's so bac College
three quarters of all Americans are now 9/10ths of all Americans,

Students, are you often missing class or late with your homework? Are your usual Purim
excuses not cutting it anymore? Come to a useful seminar by the great corporate
spokesman Alex Blaine Layder for new approaches for avoiding responsibility. Likutei Tipshim Classic: Same Great Format, Same Small Font, Same Lame Jokes
that you have come to expect from your Purim Edition (besides, we couldn't find a
Secretary of the Treasury Geithner would like to remind everyone on the success of the paper source for the new EXTRA LARGE PRINT EDITION now in use)
President's economic policies. If you don't believe it is putting people to work, just look at Disclaimer: We, at Lekutei Tipshim, wish to once again inform the public that we are in no way
all the people working the corners of Touhy and McCormick and Howard and McCormick. affiliated, associated, or otherwise related to any institution or organization currently publishing
similar types of periodicals, weeklies etc.
Thoughts to Ponder:
Do you realize, no matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery?
*The Shabbos before Purim we read Parshas Zachor, which states "to eradicate the
If a dog gives birth to puppies near the road can it be cited for littering?
memory of Amelek from the world, don't forget". How can we erase the memory of
When did an 8 inch snow fall in Chicago become a major news event?
Amalek, and at the same time never forget to erase their memory? The Great and
Are they called wisdom teeth because they put your dentist's kids thru college?
Holy Purim Rabbi, Harav Hagoan Hatipsy Rav Jim Beam in his ground breaking
If we weren't supposed to eat animals, how come they're made of meat?
sefer, "Noach's Vineyard" states that the answer to this question is intertWINEd in
******************************************************************************************************* the mitzva of ad dlo yada. On Purim we are suppose to drink until we can no longer
You know you are in Israel when:
differentiate between cursed is Haman and blessed is Mordecai. If we reach such a
1. The Gemach listings in the neighborhood phone book are longer than the list of
state of inebriation, we have in a sense erased the memory of Amalek, but as long as
residents. we know we are drunk we haven't forgotten the mitzvah. While the Imrei Tzchok
2. You see 4 year-olds walking themselves to school, while pushing their younger sibling
agrees with Rav Beam, he still is left with the difficulty of dina d'malchusa dina. The
in a stroller.
law of the land forbids anyone under the age of 21 to drink alcoholic beverages.
3. Bus stops have Chumashim and Tehillim to use while you wait.
What are those between the ages of 13-21 supposed to do? Rav Tzchok suggests
4. Everyone speaks Hebrew around you, and when you speak Hebrew to them, they
that the during the 8 years from 13-21, a man is responsible to do mitzvos but he is
answer you in English.
not a BAR onshin. As we all know, a hangover can be a pretty big onesh for over
******************************************************************************************************* drinking. We must therefore conclude, that since he is not a bar onshin he cannot
Questions.
drink as this would cause him terrible punishment.
1. What was the optimist's reaction when his flashlight batteries died?
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
There is a profound concept in Judaism, mutov shyeyu shogagim v'al tihyu mazidim.
It is better to sin inadvertently that to sin on purpose. Kollel L'Halacha Aval Lo
Answers Lemayseh is pleased to be offering a series of shiurim on hilchos Shabbos. This
1. He was delighted. series will be an in depth exploration of many of the most confusing laws of Shabbos
2. He's all right now and their modern applications. We will explore topics such as cooking, carrying, as
3. Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
well as all the different types of muktzah, just to name a few. By the time you finish
*******************************************************************************************************
our course you will be so confused, you will never again be responsible for your
Likutei Tipshim is not now and has never been associated with any fine institutions of
actions.
higher learning in the city of Chicago or its environs.
Ideas? Comments? Send email to likutei-tipshim@juno.com
There is an ABSOLUT mitzvah to eat and drink on Purim. The question arises, can
The contents of this publication have been certified Torah free. May contain some trace we fulfil the mitzvah if we serve a GREY GOOSE for the seuda or does it have to be
elements of gematria. Written in a facility where people eat peanuts. a WILD TURKEY? And when you serve drinks, does it depend if the MAKER'S
MARK the KETTLE ONE glass at a time or by the VAT 69 ounces at a time? In
Money back guarantee: If this issue fails to produce at least one chuckle and/or one
smile, return to point of purchase for a fool refund. researching this, we discussed it with JACK DANIEL'S but he was more interested in
telling us about his EARLY TIMES in Kentucky. We soon realized this whole issue is
THIS PUBLICATION IS STILL NOT A RECIPIENT OF THE JEWISH FEDERATION OF a CHERRY HERRING, so we hitched a ride with CAPTAIN MORGAN and sailed off
METROPOLITAN CHICAGO.
into a CANADIAN MIST.