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Rena Ariel
                  Just                     one




                                             Candle









            he    experience  of   G-d’s    A sliver of light. Sudden understanding.   that is the secret of the Jewish holidays.
            withdrawal (hester panim) is    That is the purpose of Chanukah. The   Historical  memory  translated  into daily
     T          familiar to many of us. Who   obligation to find the small spark of   action. The past is channeled through
      hasn’t confronted a reality of terrible,   light, not in an illuminated world, but   the present for the benefit of the future.
      unbearable pain? Who hasn’t struggled   in a dark one. Good doesn’t appear only   The holidays not only illuminate the
      with profound questions surrounding   as a powerful spring-like revelation, but   past but demand a pulsating spiritual life
      difficult life situations? Who hasn’t   from an opposite, winter-like place. We   in the present.
      experienced pain with no meaning,     all have moments of darkness in our
      suffering with no purpose?            lives, within us, where we need that   We  found  part  of our  meaning  by
                                            small, barely flickering candle.      building  “Kerem   Hallel”  (Hallel’s
      That is how we felt after our 13 and a
      half-year-old daughter, Hallel Yaffa, was   The Hallel prayer, too, does not only   Vineyard) – an area of our home filled
      murdered in her bed at home in broad   contain moments of climactic joy; it   with vines and grapes, which symbolize
      daylight just two and a half years ago. A   includes the verse: “The bonds of death   deep roots in the Land and the sanctity
      pure, beautiful child; the victim of pure,   encompassed me, the anguish of the   and  blessings  of  wine.  It  is  an  area
      brutal hatred.                        grave came upon me.”                  privileged to have received Ya’akov’s
                                                                                  blessing to Yehuda and from then until
      Days  when everything  was  despondent,   We can also identify this duality in the   now has produced fruit in abundance.
      the world dark.                       famous dispute between Beit Hillel and   Vines  gripping the  ground symbolize
                                            Beit Shammai concerning how many
      We called her Hallel because she was   candles we light each night.         our victory and resilience in the face of
      born soon after Chanukah, when we sing                                      suffering and pain.
      Hallel every day, adding praises to our   Do we begin with one small candle and
      light and joy.                        allow a process of intensification? Or   We found another small candle too, a
                                            perhaps the opposite – in the war against   small flame that disseminates light –
      Chanukah arrives at the end of Kislev,   darkness, should we use all the light   “Pirkei  Hallel,”  a  book for  bat  mitzvah
      during  the  shortest days  of  the  year,   from the outset? As we know, we act like   girls and their mothers, which enables
      and when the moon is almost invisible,   the former, like Beit Hillel.      them to embark on a shared journey; a
      fading before it reappears. It is the only                                  book written in tears that illuminates
      holiday  celebrated  at  the  end  of  the   There are times when we can barely   Hallel’s sparkling personality, intended
      month, rather than the middle, when the   grasp even one candle.            to inspire the 12-year-old reader.
      moon’s light is brightest.
                                            How difficult it is to shield that flame so
      The Midrash (Avoda Zara 8a) explains   it doesn’t blow out. And how even more   Perhaps it is only because we find the
      Chanukah’s original background as     challenging it is to allow it to light the   strength to light our own one small light
      associated with the time of Creation.   way.                                that we are able to shine outwards, give
      Adam was conscious of the experience   How can we make that candle          praise and publicize our miracles.
      of  G-d’s   contraction  (tzimtzum)   meaningful, transforming a life of fate
      and withdrawal (hester) due to the    into a life of destiny?
                                                             1
      shortening  day.  He  feared  it  was  in                                    1  A concept expressed by Rav Soloveitchik.
      punishment for his sin. He was in a state   Following  Hallel’s  murder,  we  searched
      of existential dread of destruction and   for new meaning for existence. How
      annihilation until he witnessed the light   could  we transform  the  memory  of  our   Rena Ariel is the mother of Hallel Yaffa,
      of dawn.                              Hallel into a living entity? After all,   who was killed by a terrorist in 2016

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