Page 43 - HaMizrachi # 22 Rosh HahHana - Yom Kippur 2020 USA

YAMIM NORA’IM READING

Rabbi Benji Levy

Who Am I?

oint to yourself. Where did you guttural cry because that’s all she can – who are they now? I remember a
point? Are you a specific body do. That is the broken sound of the close friend who was a phenomenal
Ppart? Who are you? This is one shofar, a plea from a place of despera- soccer player before he damaged his
of the most simple yet sophisticated tion to pierce the heavens in search of leg and couldn’t play again. He was
questions anyone can ask of them- a positive outcome. faced with the big question – now
selves and the New Year is a great time what? Others whose identities are
to start. Perhaps there is more in this story based around another person are faced
that gets to the very heart of what the with the same question when that rela-
The central command of Rosh shofar represents. We are never told tionship is severed.
Hashanah and the Biblical name that the name of Sisera’s mother. We are
represents its essence is ה ָ עּור ְּ ת םֹוי – a never told what she did or what kind We often classify ourselves by our job
day of terua sounding (Bamidbar 29:1; of person she was. Rather, she is only or title or relationship to a relative.
Vayikra 23:24). In defining the term mentioned by association, suggesting However, if our internal identity is
terua, which comes from the shofar, perhaps that she has no real indepen- built upon something external, we are
the Talmud (Rosh Hashanah 33b) dent identity other than her relation- profoundly affected when the exter-
translates it to be a yevava, sobbing ship to her son. Therefore, when she nality changes. This unique period of
or moaning. This is derived from a loses her son, she loses the only sense political uncertainty, Covid-19 and
story in Shoftim (5:28), in which a of identity she ever knew and cries out other global instabilities has caused
pagan army general named Sisera in anguish. many to question basic assumptions,
went to war with the Israelites and was which will undoubtedly force a differ-
defeated and killed. Sisera’s mother She metaphorically looks out of the ent Rosh Hashanah.
looked out of the window, awaiting window and does not see her son on
her son’s return, and cried (vateyabev). the other side. She sees a translucent The cry of the shofar, like that of
Tosafot (Rosh Hashanah 33b) cites reflection of herself. A self she did not Sisera’s mother, beckons us to ask who
the custom of sounding a total of 100 fully recognize beyond the context of we truly are – what makes us who we
shofar blasts on Rosh Hashanah to her son. If one were to try to touch are and how are we going to focus in
parallel the 100 cries she let out as she one’s reflection in water, it would dis- the New Year on that which contrib-
waited in vain for her son. solve and if one were to reach out to utes to the person we truly want to
a reflection in the window, it always be. More than the ephemeral reflec-
The reason she is sobbing seems obvi- remains beyond reach. A reflection tion Sisera’s mother saw, let us build
ous – imagine waiting for a loved one is simply an empty, intangible image. an identity that is palpable, substan-
and not knowing whether they will This is symbolic of Sisera’s mother’s tive and of immense value. So we can
ever return. I remember when my perception of herself without her son. appreciate who we are and know who
brother called us from the army to let She was only ever defined by someone we want to become.
us know he was going to be without a else and the thought of losing that was
phone for a few days, as the IDF was terrifying. Shana Tova!
about to enter Gaza in Operation Pro-
tective Edge. I remember searching for Most people are defined by something
a lost child in our community along other than their essence. Someone
with thousands of others. It’s a terrible who is good at sport, music or art can
feeling. become defined by that talent rather
than let it be but one expression of
Unable to do anything about her who they are. When that is lost, they
son’s return, Sisera’s mother lets out a often experience an existential crisis Rabbi Benji Levy is CEO of Mosaic United.

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