Page 108 - Grammar for Great Writing B

ACTIVITY 11 Steps to Composing

Read the paragraph. Then follow the directions in the 10 steps to edit the information
and composition of this paragraph. Write your revised paragraph on a separate sheet of
paper. Be careful with capitalization and punctuation. Check your answers with the class.

DEFINITION PARAGRAPH

Shinichi Suzuki

1 Shinichi Suzuki, a Japanese musician who lived from 1898 to 1998, wanted to
find a way to teach kids how to play musical instruments. He wanted that method to
2
be easier, more natural, and more effective. He saw how easily and naturally young
3
children learned their first language. He also wondered if children could learn to play
4
musical instruments in the same way. This thinking led to the development of the
5
Suzuki Method. Suzuki first called this method the Mother Tongue Method. Suzuki
7
6
thought that the earlier a child started to learn to play an instrument, the better. The
8
Suzuki method encourages parents to expose their children to music from birth. It
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then has them start them in formal instruction at age three or four. In the Suzuki
10
Method, formal instruction does not involve traditional methods. Traditional methods
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include studying music theory and learning to read music. Students of the Suzuki
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Method first learn to play an instrument by experimenting on their own and through

trial and error. This is what they do when learning their first language.
13

1. Combine sentences 1 and 2 by replacing He wanted that method to be with that
was. This puts the main idea of the paragraph into the first sentence.

2. In sentence 1 change kids to a more formal term.

3. In sentence 2, the essential adjective clause that was easier, more natural, and more
effective does not state what is being compared. Add than traditional methods.
4. In sentence 3, find a more academic and specific term for saw.

5. Combine sentences 3 and 4 with the conjunction and to connect the two ideas which
led to Suzuki’s method. You do not need to say he twice so delete it from sentence 4.

6. Combine sentences 5 and 6 by making sentence 6 into an adjective clause.
7. Combine sentences 8 and 9. Replace It then has them with and then start them to
make the first and second parts of the new sentence parallel.

98 Unit 7 Using Adjective Clauses

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-200-203
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