Page 180 - Grammar for Great Writing B

ACTIVITY 10 Steps to Composing

Read the classification paragraph. Then follow the directions in the 10 steps to edit the information and
composition of this paragraph. Write your revised paragraph on a separate sheet of paper. Be careful with
capitalization and punctuation. Check your answers with the class.

CLASSIFICATION PARAGRAPH

Elements of an Effective Apology

1 Apologizing can be a difficult thing to do. According to recent research,
2
an effective apology needs to contain various elements. However, there are
3
two elements that people consider more important than all the others. For an apology
4
to be effective, it should include an admission of responsibility. Some people
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apologize with an excuse for their action, saying for example, “I’m sorry, but I was tired,”

or “I’m sorry, but I didn’t realize you would be bothered by . . .” In these apologies,
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there is no blame or responsibility. What is heard is only an excuse. This type of
8
7
apology can make the offended person even more upset or angry. Another element
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that should be included in an effective apology is an offer to fix the situation. Offering
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to fix the situation shows that the apologizer has thought a lot about the offensive

behavior. It also shows that the apologizer has thought a lot about the offended
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person, too. One common element of an apology that is not very helpful is to ask
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for forgiveness, so that part can be omitted.

1. Add effectively to the end of sentence 1 to better define the paragraph topic.

2. Combine sentences 2 and 3. Change the period between element and However to a semi-colon.

3. In sentence 3, people (the agent) is not that important. Change people consider to are considered.

4. Start sentence 4 with First and a comma to emphasize that this is the first element.

5. In sentence 6, change there is no blame or responsibility to the passive form no blame or
responsibility is communicated.

6. In sentence 7, add or justification after excuse.

7. Start sentence 9 with Second and a comma to emphasize that this is the second element.

170 Unit 12 Using Passive Voice

Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Copyright 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. WCN 02-200-203
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