Page 33 - Nihil Alchemia CRUCIBLE Issue One MAY 2020 Flip Book
P. 33

Reality is Nothing


 Other than Presence                      This is what  meditation  a very familiar dream in
                                          brought  to my journey.  the beginning. It took
                                          A     simple      feeling     of just a second for my
 Stanislava Georgieva                     enlightenment               and brain to relate these hazy
                                          oneness          with        the images with a distant and

 My life in the last ten years has  We must focus on the fact that   Universe where  no  past  forgotten  emotion.  The
 turned  around  faster  than  the  we`re all good, not on the fear of   and future exist. Where  sensations were so strong
 rotation  speed of Mother  Earth,  losing each other.  there is no fear, a natural  as only a kid can  feel it.
 and past, present, and future have       sense of personal space  So intense that my breath
 been  centrifuged  to  an  infinite      like it  has never  existed  got stuck in my chest for
 tangled  mess. This feeling of           before.  Presence is the  a second. This  is  me, in
 confusion is deeply rooted in the        art of enjoying the exact  the here and now with my
 times when I’ve been  searching          moment of living. Every  body,  and 25 years ago
 for  happiness in places where           meditation practice  is  a  with my sensations.
 only material  possessions  were         unique experience  where
 standing. In 2019 right before   In the here and   the body and mind reach  This      is     the       most
 Christmas eve, I had had my first        peaceful equilibrium in the  extraordinary                 feeling.
 panic attack. It forced me to jump       realness of the  moment.  Since  then, every time
 on the brakes of the project Perfect   now, the only   Meditation  is  about I meditate, I initiate an
 Life and  to observe more why            acceptance  and  dealing  intention  to  open  that
 this  severe nervous breakdown           with what is, not what was  very old page of my life,
 happened to me. Did I do this to  thing in my life   or  will be.  It’s a perfect  full  of colorful places,
 myself?                                  cure  to  our  overplanned  magical friendships,  and



 The hit was very hard. It broke   is your life.   lives and  constant  sense  pure love and  happiness.
                                          of inadequacy  in the  The limitless freedom that
 my feelings, I  was  paralyzed  by       background, so  we can  once  was  possible and  I
 my emotions, and people around           regain the feeling of doing  had forgotten about still
 me seemed worried.  I needed to   Mitsuo Aida  the right thing.             exists every  time I  invite
 understand  this nightmare  so           After  just one year  of  myself to dissolve my
 badly. For the first time in my life,    meditation           practices, mind into  the  meditation
 I’ve totally lost it. Two months after   I’ve experienced many  practice. These experiences
 the  panic  attack,  I  had  my  first   benefits  for  my  mental  translate into my  daily
 meditation. Today, one year later,       health,       including        a routine  as calmness, and
 I’m so thankful for the lessons I’ve     whole  new  life-changing  are a great reminder that
 learned in those hard moments.           philosophy. But the most  I am capable of pure and
 Because that experience helps me         special and intimate thing  magical feelings. Today,
 today, in these crazy times, to stay
 centered and  to be a beacon  of         that  has happened  to  when  the world is sick,
                                          me during  meditation  there is still one curious,
 hope for my family that everything
 will be fine very soon, and we can       was the moment when  I  happy and loving child in
 see each other with no fear.             unlocked memories  from  all of us, just wanting  to
                                          my childhood.  It was like  enjoy freedom and life.
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